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My first ever dirty-ish joke I ever heard, still makes me laugh….. A man is visiting his elderly father in a care home

The man asks how his father is settling in.

“Oh, it’s wonderful son, I’ve made some great friends, I’m well rested and at night the nurses give us a hot chocolate and a viagra before bed every night”.

When, leaving, curious to know about the viagra, he asks a nurse.

“Excuse me,...

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Nurse in a care home walked past one of the bedrooms She sees an elderly lady sucking on her husbands penis.

She came in and said "Mrs Philips, you can't do that."

"Why not?" She asked, "I enjoy doing it."

"Yes." She replied, "but it was meant to be buried with the rest of him."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A old man meets an old woman in a care home...

They get off to a good start and they started to talk he learned she was called Maria and they talked about their past and their experiences and eventually they get to the subject of Sex. The old man says "I can't get an erection anymore, I need a woman to help me do it" Maria volunteered to help hi...

Did you hear about the explosion in the care home for deaf people?

Neither did they.

I hate it when my finger goes through the loo roll when I’m wiping

It’s by far the worst part of my job at the care home!

I just found out my grandparents got infected.

I can’t believe it honestly. I told them to use protection and stuff but they wouldn’t listen and now the whole care homes got it. Oh well at least it’s easy to treat chlamydia now a days.

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An old man. [NSFW] [Long]

So an old man in a care home looks quite sad.

An old woman notices this and asks

"why do you look so glum?"

He replies " well ever since my wife died no one has held my cock in a while, would you be able to?"

The woman agrees.

This goes on for a few weeks, untill ...

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I had sex with one of my old friends.

Then I lost my job at the care home.

Two Old Men

Two old men were sitting in the yard outside the care home one day when Tim turned to the other and said "John I'm really feeling my age today I just hurt all over, how are you feeling?


John replied "I feel just like a new born babe"


Tim looked at him startled "A New Born...

At The Old Peoples Home

A frail old man is put in to a care home by his family. They visit him a few days later and as they are talking he starts leaning to the left. A nurse quickly runs over and props him up straight. A little while later he starts leaning to the right, again the nurse runs over and props him up again. T...

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