Call For Help Jokes - 12 Hilarious Call For Help Jokes

A mime fell down a well and couldn't call for help.

His larynx was crushed during the fall.

Who does a ladder call for help if it gets stuck in a washing machine?

Its step ladder.

Why did the golfers wife call for help when he hit the ball out of bounds?

Because he stroked out!

There are 3 boys, named Stupid, Nothing, and Nobody. The boys go down to the river, and Nobody falls in the water, he cant swim, so Nothing tells Stupid to call for help. Stupid calls 911 and says...

"Hello, I'm Stupid, I'm calling for Nothing, Nobody fell in the water."

An old Fiat breaks down on a remote road

The driver discovers he has no service and can't call for help. Just as he starts walking, a shiny new BMW stops next to him. "Hey man, having car trouble?" The driver asks. "I'm afraid so." The driver of the Fiat answers. "Tell you what, my car is strong enough, I'll tow you to the nearest garage!"...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A husband find his wife in bed with no clothes and sweating and he says

What's wrong honey? A HEART ATTACK, the wife says.
So he runs out to call for help when he trips with his 3 year old kid and the kid screams "Daddy daddy there's a monster in my closet" So the dad quickly goes to the kid's closet and finds his best friend naked and the dad says, - Johnny!! you so...

A blonde is on a 2 seater aeroplane when the pilot suddenly passes out.

Not knowing how to fly the plane she grabs the radio and says: "Mayday, mayday, my pilot just died!"

Ground control received her call for help and replies: "Don't worry maam I'll talk you down, just do as I say.”

First I need you to give me your height and position? Blonde: "I'm 5'2 an...

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Corvettes..

A mouse is walking through a forest and hears a call for help. He takes off to find the call. Down in a large hole he sees an elephant has fallen in. The mouse gets his corvette, ties a chain to the back and pulls the elephant out of the hole. The elephant thanks him and tells him if he is ever in t...

Bob's anniversary

Bob was out fishing when he realized that it was his wedding anniversary. Hoping to save face, he headed to shore. He left the marina and started driving to the nearest Hallmark store to buy his wife a card and a gift. His truck’s engine started sputtering and died on the road.

Bob was fairl...

What a horrible way to die

Two guys meet up in a bar.

The first one asks, "Did your hear the news - Mike is dead??!!!"

"Woah, what the hell happened to him?"

"Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly and boom - He hit the curb,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Germans are at a pub in London after a long day of business meetings.

They're having a good 'ol laugh amongst eachother when one of them passes out on the floor. Not having been to Britain before, the other man cries out asking what number to call for help.

The bartender yells: "Nine, Nine, Nine"

To which the German replies: "Fuck you my friend needs h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two hunters are out in the woods. One of them gets his penis bitten by a poisonus snake.

Two hunters are out in the woods. One of them gets his penis bitten by a poisonus snake.

The first hunter tries to call for help, but he has no service so he climbs up a high tree while his friend waits for him in agony at the bottom. Almost at the top, he finally gets a signal on his phone ...

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