UPJOKE
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If atheism was a business, what kind of business would it be?

A Non-Prophet organization.

A kid is playing video games in his room, minding his own business. His mother walks in. "Honey, come meet my new boyfriend!" "I'm kind of busy right now. Can you bring him in here instead?"

A minute or so later, her boyfriend walks in. "Hey, champ! How you doing?"

The kid ignores him.

"Don't like champ, huh? That's fine. How about BlueDragon72?"

The kid turns his head quickly. "I haven't heard that name since I was ten..." He then realized. "It can't be.."

"...

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My 18 carat gold butt plug business was sued by Apple

Apparently they have a patent on expensive stuff for arseholes

A business man sees a fisherman laying down on the shore, looking at the sky

- Hi, why aren't you fishing?
- Well, I caught the fishes we plan on eating
- But if you caught more, you could sell them.
- And then what?
- Then you could buy a motor for the boat to catch even more fish
- And then what?
- Then you can sell more fish, get more boats, and even mor...

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A man and woman, both married separately, had to share a room one night on a business trip.

They feel weird at first, but they both fall asleep in their separate beds.

After a few hours of sleeping, the man wakes the woman up and asks her, "Could you grab me another blanket from the closet? I'm really cold."

The woman responds, "Or we could just pretend to be married for the ...

I quit my job to start a cloning business and it's been great,

I love being my own boss.

Do you know how to make $20B in the Tech business?

Start with $44B

My friend just gave me a presentation on why I should invest in his sword making business.

He made some excellent points.

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A business man is leaving his wife for a week and has concerns about her straying while away.

He visits a number of adult toy stores looking for something that will keep his wife "busy" while he's gone. After hours of searching he eventually stumbles into a Chinese Herb and Erotic Tincture shop in Chinatown. After telling the old man running the store of his dilemma, the old shopkeeper think...

The three unwritten rules of business:

1.

2.

3.

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I set the pornhub theme as my ring tone, because if anyone at business meetings recognizes it they'll be too ashamed to comment.

They did stop shaking my hand though...

Two retired business men sitting on a beach.

Mike: Nice to meet you. I'm a retired businessman. When my store burned down, rather than rebuilding I took the insurance money and retired here.

John: You know, I'm a retired businessman, too. When a flood washed away my store I took the insurance money and retired here, too.

Mike is...

John was in the fertilized egg business.

He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.

He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.

This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.
...

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A man is on a business trip in Paris and gets lonely..

He decides to call down to the hotel lobby to see if they can arrange him an escort. Within minutes there is a knock on the door and he opens it to see a stunningly beautiful woman wearing a short tight dress. "Monsieur, what are you interested in tonight?" He thinks for a second and says "honestly,...

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A female fly is minding her own business…

A female fly is sitting on a piece of shit, minding her own business. A male fly comes along and asks “excuse me Miss, is this stool taken?”

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Business Trip or Pleasure?

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his:

Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted...

I fly often for business. Yesterday, I had three bags to check.

I said, "I'd like this bag to go to New Orleans, this one to Seattle, and the third to Chicago."


The gate agent rolled her eyes and said, "We can't do that!"


I immediately shot back, "Why? You did it last week."

An American businessman goes to India on a business trip...

but he doesn't like Indian food.

so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place around where he can get American food.

The concierge tells him he's in luck; there's a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver. The concierge gives the businessman the phone number...

A woman goes on a business trip overseas, leaving her husband behind to look after the house and kids.

After a few days she calls up to see how everything is.

"Everything's fine" he says. "The kids are finally sleeping OK without you here, and my boss has given me an extra week off until you're back. Oh! I forgot to say, the cat's dead! She was hit by a car!"

"What!?" Says the wife. "A...

A man was away on a business trip, and decided to call his wife and to let her know he had arrived safely

A little girl picks up the phone. "Hello?"

"Hi, Honey. This is Daddy, is mommy near the phone?" Daddy asks

"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with uncle Paul."

After a brief pause, Daddy says "But, honey, you haven't got an uncle Paul."

"Oh, yes I do, and he's upst...

4 comrades go to a Soviet hotel for a night during a business trip...

As they walk into their room, 3 of them, whip out some vodka, food and cigarettes and begin to make jokes about the government and be very loud indeed. The 4th one is trying to get some meaningful sleep and knowing that it would be fruitless to ask them to stop, hatches an ingenious plan.
He goes...

I was sitting in a bathroom stall "doing my business", when suddenly the guy in the neighbour stall...

I was sitting in a bathroom stall "doing my business", when suddenly the guy in the neighbour stall started: **"Hey man, how are you doing?"**.



A little confused I replied: **"Ehm good, I guess."**



To my surprise the guy continued with: **"What ya doin'?"**


<...

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Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally, sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska, as far from humanity as possible.

He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it’s total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it, and a huge, bearded man is standing there. “Name’s Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Hav...

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A lawyer boards a plane and takes his seat in business class.

A few moments later, two more men wander in and sit next to him. They get to chatting and he discovers they are doctors.

After a few moments, one of the doctors comments that he needs a drink.

"It's ok, I'll get it for you," says the lawyer, and gets up. The doctors notice he has take...

My neighborhood strip club has gone out of business.

The sign on the door says "sorry, we're clothed."

A British engineer just started his own business in Afghanistan

He's making land mines that look like prayer mats. It's doing well. He says prophets are going through the roof.

What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?

Beat it. We’re closed.

Did you hear about the limo driver who was in business for 25 years without a single customer?

All that time and nothing to chauffeur it.


I'm pretty sure this is the joke that will yield me my fortune.

If a firefighter's business can go up in smoke, and a plumber's business can go down the drain...

...can a hooker get laid off?

A man was riding a bus, minding his own business

A man was riding a bus, minding his own business, when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breastfeed her baby..

The baby wouldn’t take it, so she said,
“Come on sweetie, eat it all up or
I’ll have to give it to this nice man next to us.”

Five minutes later, the baby was s...

How I learned to miknd my own business:

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were yelling "13...13...13..."

The fence was too high for me to see over but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on.

Someone poked me in the eye with a stick and then the...

I've just started a new business selling trampolines in Prague

Getting a lot of orders, but the Czechs keep bouncing.

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The wife of a wealthy business man calls their butler into her bedroom while her husband is away on a trip for work

"Jeeves," she says at once, "take off my dress."

"Yes madam!" He replies, unbuttoning the top of her dress and watching it fall to the floor.

"Now, I want you to take off my bra."

"Oh, yes ma'am!" replies Jeeves, unhooking the front clasp of the fancy lace bra and throwing it ca...

I started a boat business in the attic.

The sails are going through the roof

I started a new business.

*Really? What business are you in?*

The dry-erase whiteboard business.

*And how’s business?*

Remarkable.

I tried to start a business offering balloon rides for fat people

But it never got off the ground.

Business proposal

A man was walking home from the pub when a hooker stopped him an asked him if he wanted to sleep with her for £20.
He said "well I'm very tired" "but OK cos I need the money"

I'm trying to start up my own business, recycling discarded chewing gum.

But I'm struggling to get it off the ground.

How running a business in these days feels

The taxation office suspected a business owner wasn't paying proper wages to his employee and sent an auditor to investigate him.

Auditor: "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them."

Business Owner: "Well, there's Clarence, he's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $5,0...

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A morbidly obese guy goes into a public restroom to do his business

As he is standing there, a rather rude guy occupies the next urinal. The second guy looks over at the fist and in an extremely uncouth manner exclaims, "Holy shit!!! You are huge !!! How much do you weigh?"

The first guys says, "around 375."

Second guys says, "Damn, that's a lot!! When...

A man decides to start a business

He puts a billboard on the door saying "If we can cure you, you have to pay 100 dollars, if we can't you get 500 dollars"

A doctor sees the billboard and decides to get in and win 500 dollars.

He says that his sense of taste is gone.

The man says to his assistant: Can you please...

I was sitting at a stoplight yesterday, minding my own business...

...when a carload of gun toting, young and very loud tea partiers, shouting anti-Obama, anti-Muslim slogans, with a Gadsden flag duct taped on the trunk and a confederate flag taped to the hood, "All I need to know about Islam, I learned on 9/11" spray painted to the side, pulled up and stopped next...

I remember meeting a guy, before the days of the Internet, who wanted to try and start a new 'Joke Format' and I'm interested to see if it catches on.

It's like a 'knock knock' Joke in that you have a set-up line response sort of thing like this:

1. 'I started a new business'
2. 'Oh yeah? What business are you in'
1. 'The Rollercoaster business'
2. 'And how's business?'
1. 'it has its ups and downs'

Or

1. 'I s...

A bald guy is minding his own business.

An obnoxious drunk comes up to him, rubs his head and says “your head feel’s just like my wife’s ass”. The bald guy feels his own head and says, “hey, you’re right!”

Out of all businesses, I think the condom business is the least successful

They are killing their future customers

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A man's wife gave birth while he was on a business trip.

The doctor called and asked, "Did you know you were having quintuplets?"
"I'm not surprised," the man replied, "I've got a dick like a stovepipe!"
"You should probably get it cleaned then," said the doctor, "because they're all black."

Hey, I started a new business!

“Hey, I started a new business!”

*”Really? What business are you in?”*

“We’ve been building a fleet of bakeries on wheels.”

*”And how’s business?”*

“The dough is just rolling in.”

An American woman goes to Italy on business and asks her husband what she could bring back for him.

He laughs and says, "An Italian girl!"

When she returns home he picks her up at the airport and asks, "So, honey, how was the trip?"

"Very good," she replies.

"And did you bring something home for me?"

"Something, did I forget?" she asks.

"The Italian girl I asked ...

Business competitors

Two friendly competitors in the NY garment center go on vacation to Miami Beach. Saul is not a good swimmer and goes out too far from the beach and realizes he is in trouble. He yells for Herbie who dives into the water and pulls Saul into the shallow water. When Saul is out of trouble Herbie asks h...

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A man starts his own business

Within a few months his business grows to the point where he needs to hire two employees. He hires a woman named Sarah and a man named Jack. Things are good.

A year goes by and the little company's sales are sagging. The owner realizes that there is not enough work for his two em...

Mind your business....

A young kid was eating candy and older guy says , you shouldn't be eating candy, kid says my grandpa lived to be 105 years old.... guy says did he eat candy every day ... kid says no ..... he minded his own f'n business.

New business idea

We sell cammo tshirts.
We call it "Casual tees of war"!

I started a business creating religious statues..

I have yet to make a prophet

My friends and I started a business where we weigh tiny items

It's a small scale operation

With the current international situation, you'd think that the Russian Tea Rooms in New York would be experiencing a downturn in business. Quite the contrary, business is so good, they've expanded...

...into the Ukrainian Village Restaurant on 2nd Ave.

If Wonder Woman and Spiderman went into business together

would they call it Amazon Web Services?

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A man goes on a business trip to Japan

In Japan, he picks up a hooker and they go all night long. The entire time they were making love she was excitedly shouting:
##Hasimota! Hasimota!
Since the man obviously didn't know a word of Japanese, he concluded it was some sort of an excitement noise. The next morning he meets with a few...

Why did the contractor go out of business doing roofs?

Because they were always on the house.

A man on a business trip went out for breakfast

When the waitress came to his booth, she asked "What can we get you?"

The man paused and said "I'll tell you what- I'd like the special, but I want my toast burned to a crisp, my bacon rubbery, my coffee weak and when you bring me the food I want you to yell at me."

Puzzled, the wait...

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I wanted to start a business selling premium dildos,

but I think I can't compete with Apple selling overpriced stuff for assholes.

Why is the Magnet Business so inviting and easy to start up?

There is no Monopoly.

Why the Baker went out of business...

- The turnover was disappointing
- His investors all wanted a slice of the pie
- The price of yeast wouldn't stop rising
- Customers said his service staff were too tarte
- His bakery business model became stale
- He tried to get another loan but the bank manager said " there Cannoli ...

Back from business trip.

A mother-in-law arrives home from the mall to find her son-in-law boiling angry and hurriedly packing his suitcase..

"What happened?", she asks anxiously.

"What happened! I'll tell you what happened..
... I sent an email to my wife telling her I was coming home today from my busine...

Employee comes back from a business trip to Brazil

Boss: How was your trip?

Employee: It was fine but I don’t like Brazil. The whole country is nothing but soccer players and hookers.

Boss: You do know that my wife is Brazilian, right?

Employee (flushing): Oh really? Which team does she play for?

So I went on Dragons Den with my grandad's shotgun and Peter Jones said, "so what's the business idea?"

I said, "It's a very simple concept, Peter. Put the money in the bag."

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A man calls his home while on a business trip.

(I translated this joke from my native language so bear with me)

An unfamiliar voice answers the phone.
Man: "Who is this?"
Answer comes, "A am the maid."
Man: "What? there was no maid when i left a couple of days ago."
Maid: "I was hired yesterday and started working just...

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Two business men are flying first class on an airplane...

They are both wearing suits, carrying briefcases, and both of them have a black eye.

Wondering what the odds of their circumstances are, they start up a conversation

Man #1: “Hey buddy, kinda funny that we’re both dressed for business, flying first class, and we both have black eyes. ...

A blind man came to me for some business advice.

I told him he's never going to succeed in what he's doing.
He asked why is that. I told him because he lacked vision.
That's not nice, he said.
I asked why, is the joke too dark for you?

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Business

Father: "I will marry you to a girl of my choice."

Son: "No fucking way!"

Father: "She is Bill Gates Daughter."

Son thinks shortly: "In that case... Okay."

Father visits Bill Gates.

"I would like to marry my son to your daughter."

Bill Gates, laughing: "No!"...

My wife doesn’t like it when I support female business owners.

…And she told me to stop calling OnlyFans girls that.

LPT: If you are ever at a party or business meeting with Spanish speakers, make sure to stand up and say “Mucho”

It means a lot to them

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Mr. Smith kisses his wife goodbye before she leaves for a business trip....

On the way to the airport, Mrs. Smith gets in a terrible car crash and is life-flighted to the hospital.

Mr. Smith receives a call from the police telling him about the accident and rushes to the hospital. There, he waits for hours while his wife is in surgery.

After many hours of wa...

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Two American business men in the 1980s are visiting Tokyo, Japan to make a business deal with an electronics company

Sadly the CEO (Mr. Yamoto) had an unexpected issue to deal with at one of his factories and couldn't see the men that day, but had his COO (Mr. Hagino) not only invite the two Americans to join them for a round of golf the next day to discuss business, but also to show them around and keep them ent...

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Kid goes into funeral business

A kid from Pennsylvania's gone to Chicago to study the funeral business with Frank E. Campbell, the world's most renowned mortician, and he calls home.


He says, "Pop, you wouldn't believe how exciting it is working with Frank E. Campbell. It's unbelievable."


His father sa...

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Why did Mario get mad on his business trip to Japan?

Everytime he tried to shake someone's hand they would say "Bow Sir!"

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A man takes a business trip to a small town in a remote valley...NSFW

and when he checks into the only hotel in the town, he quietly asks the manager:

"Y'know, do you have any girls here, for, uh, 'nighttime favours'?"

"Not really", the manager answers, "we only have Bob."

The man is a bit confused, replies "Hm, no thank you" and goes to his room...

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This is a joke I wrote myself. It’s long, but I think it’s pretty good, personally…

This is a story about three friends who had known each other their whole lives.

They did everything together. You could not find one without the other two nearby. But, as so often happens, after graduation, they all went their separate ways. One of the friends went on to become a very success...

I'm starting a new business tomorrow.

It will be a gym for two weeks in January, and then a beer and burger place for the rest of the year.

I'm calling it, "Resolutions."

My friend called me in tears because his favorite Swedish car manufacturer is no longer in business.

But I just wasn't interested in listening to his Saab story.

Why do Irish mediums do business in the supermarket?

Because that's where they get the messages.

Young man, we need brains in our business

"I know you do. That is why I'm looking for a job here."



Source: 1913 newspaper

Why do vampires never create new businesses?

They're afraid of the stakeholders

(A joke I just made up)

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Business was terrible and not picking up. I had to fire somebody, and I narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack.

It was an impossible decision because they were both super workers. 

Rather than flip a coin, I decided I would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next morning. 

Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying all night.  She went to the cooler to t...

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What did the business man say to the farmer ?

There's a lot of demand for manure now. So you get your shit together.

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your masturbation is none of my business

you do you

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A Japanese business man living in nyc goes into the bank to exchange a large amount of US dollars into Yen....

He does the transaction with the teller, offer a polite bow accompanied by an ‘ah so’, and leaves.

He comes back in a week with another large amount of usd to exchange. This time he gets much less yen. He looks quizzically at the teller and she says to him, ‘fluctuations’!!

He angril...

I'm opening a new chimney sweep, soldering supplies, and dessert business.

It's called Flue, Flux, Flan.

"The price of doing business at the Vet's office"

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

The distres...

My mother and father are in the steel and iron business.

Boy 2: Really?

Boy 1: Yes, my father steals, and my mother irons.

An Italian couple were getting busy on their wedding night.

But when the husband took off his pants, the wife received quite a shock. Where his business should have been was a small monkey.

"My God!" she exclaimed. "It's a monkey!"

"No," responded the husband. "It's-a macaque."

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What do you call a guy who starts an adult entertainment business?

An Entreporneur

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Two boys in Egypt free a crocodile...

In a small village in Egypt lived two orphan boys, Set and Amenhotep. They always watched out for each other, well past their years of childhood and into their time as young adults.

One day, the two were walking outside the village when they saw a crocodile trapped in a poacher’s snare. The t...

People say starting your own business is difficult,

but I met a lady starting her own clothing company whose signature piece was produced in a completely automated factory. She made it seamstress free.

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A 7-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar.

The man sitting next to him looks over and says, "Eating that many chocolate bars is bad for you."

The boy looks over and responds, "My great grandfather lived to be one hundred and five".

The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?"

"No" says the boy, "But he minded his o...

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Two business associates and long-time friends were having lunch together...

... when one asked what happened to his friend's fetching secretary.

"Oh, Brenda? She quit. She had such a beautiful body, but couldn't take a joke. I needed some travel arrangements and she just goes and quits on me."

"What?!? Why?", says the first.

"Well, you know when you say...

An Indian governor visits a Chinese governor on diplomatic business.

A wealthy Chinese governor was hosting an Indian governor at his governor's mansion, and he just couldn't resist boasting about how well he gamed the system to enrich himself. After a lavish lunch, he called the Indian governor over to his balcony window. Pointing at a magnificent bridge across the...

An old man is selling watermelons...

His pricelist reads: 1 for $3, 3 for $10

A young man stops by and asks to buy one watermelon.
"That'd be 3 dollars", says the old man.

The young man then buys another one, and another one, paying $3 for each.

As the young man is walking away, he turns around, grins, and sa...

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Monkey business

In a secret lab, a bunch if scientists are working on modified human DNA. To find out if their experiments work, they infuse monkey cells with the modified DNA. After a few years of raising 3 modified monkeys they send each of them into a different apprenticeship for one year, to see if they are abl...

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Three guys go to a luxury resort for a business siminar

This resort happens to have a very high end golf course so they each bring their clubs in the hopes of getting in a round if they get some free time. As luck would have it midweek the day's activities end at lunchtime. So they grab their clubs and head to the clubhouse to see about getting a tee t...

Business Trip Pun

A man on a business trip went into a singles bar, approached two women, and offered either of them two hundred dollars to spend the night with him. One girl stormed out in a rage, but the other remained cool, calm...and collected.

A man goes on a business trip to Boston and wants to try out the local cuisine.

So, as he gets into the cab at the airport, he asks the driver "Where can I get Scrod?" The driver replies "Mister, I've been asked that question many times and in many ways but never before in the Past Pluperfect Possessive."

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US Government Business Policy

It is the month of June, on the shores of the Black Sea. It is raining, and the little town looks totally deserted. It is tough times, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.


Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town.


He enters the only hotel, lays a 100 Euro no...

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A Russian an American and an Asian guy start a business

A Russian an American and an Asian guy decided to start a business together they decided they would assign each other with a specific job

The American was put in charge of advertisement

The Russian was put in charge of management

And the Asian was put in charge of supplies
...

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An American man goes to Japan to close a big business deal.

The night before, he is very tense so he picks up a woman in the hotel bar. She speaks no English but they get their transaction settled and go to his room.

In bed she is wildly thrashing around and screaming a phrase in Japanese. The man figures she is loving it and tries to remember what sh...

Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each...

The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of th...

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Two Jews have done well in business.

They decide to celebrate and advertise their success they should get matching black suits. They go to the tailor, Pincus, and tell him they want two black suits. They make it clear they want a true deep black, not blue black, grey black, or brown black but a black black. A real black, "The kind n...

Once there were four business men. They were sitting on a bench in a hospital waiting room because their wives were having babies.

A nurse comes over and says to the first businessman, "Congratulations! Your wife had a baby."
The man says, "What a coincidence! I'm the president of And1!"
The nurse goes away.

Then the nurse comes back and says to the second businessman, "Congratulations! Your wife had twins!"
The...

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A Business man decided to hire a Japanese, a German and a Chinese man to make his business run more smoothly.

He told the Japanese man that he is putting him in charge of productivity. The German was put in charge of efficiency. The Chinese man was put in charge of supplies.

A month later, he walks the factory floor and sees the workers working in unison like a well oiled machine which improved prod...

A lawyer’s wife died. At her grave, everyone was appalled.

The tombstone read, “HERE LIES PHYLLIS, WIFE OF ATTORNEY MURRAY WILLIAMS; SPECIALIZES IN DIVORCE AND MALPRACTICE”.

Murray burst into tears. His brother said, “You SHOULD cry, pulling a cheap publicity stunt like this.”

Murray said, “You don’t understand. I gave them my business card.”<...

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Jews and Chinese doing business

A Chinese goes to a Jew to buy black bras size 38.
The Jew, known for his skills as a businessman, says that black bras are rare and that he is finding it very difficult to buy them from his suppliers.
Therefore he has to charge $50.00 for them.

The Chinese buys 25 pairs.

He r...

I'm starting a business to teach short people maths.

It's called, "Making The Little Things Count."

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A highly successful blonde business woman was headed west

She was on her way to a work conference, driving through Arkansas.

As she's cruising along she comes across a farm and out in the middle of the field is a blonde in a rowboat, surrounded by cows, rowing like mad and going nowhere.

She's pissed. She pulls over and jumps out of her car, ...

Whats the one thing thats good for a comedian’s business but bad for a hookers?

The clap

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A business man

A business man got tired of his boring office job and decided on a change in lifestyle. He quit his job the next day and decided to work on a ranch. He was set to the menial task of setting and building fence along the property line. Working alongside the other ranch hands all day, he noticed one fe...

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Two men are having a business meeting in a small coffee shop...

...when a barista approaches and asks them what they'd like. The first man says that he'd like a glass of water. The barista replies "One glass of H2O coming right up." then turns to the second man and asks him what he'd like. The second man replies "I'd like a glass of H2O too, please". The Barista...

A new business is opening and one of the owner’s friends wants to send him flowers for the occasion.

They arrive at the new business site and the owner reads the card: “Rest in Peace.” Understandably the owner is angry and calls the florist to complain.

After he tells the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he is, the florist replies, “Sir, I’m really sorry for the mistake, but rath...

How to retire when business is poor

Two elderly men met in a town in Florida, and began to talk to each other. It turned out both of them were from Oregon, and had owned small factories, and had now retired and moved to Florida.

"I had a factory that produced high-end furniture," said the first man. "Was successful for many yea...

So, last semester I met this guy in my business class

He was cool & an international student. His name was Ving and was from China. His English was really good for a second language, better than I could ever be learning a second language. We’d often hang out and I show him the sites and tourist destinations in my city. He's much cooler as well as b...

Two men are discussing a business transaction.

Buyer: "How much does it cost to buy a singing ensemble?"

Seller: "You mean a choir?"

Buyer: \**visibly frustrated*\* "Fine, how much does it cost to *acquire* a singing ensemble?"

I'd like to rent a pueblo style building and open a business selling photographic prints.

It will be called: Adobe Photo Shop

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