I won't be eating at my favorite Italian restaurant any more. They have a new chef named Sal.

Sal Monella.

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Sleezy Sal calls into see his old buddy Jimbob who has a broken leg.

Jimbob says, “My feet are freezing buddy, could you go upstairs and get my slippers?”


“Not a problem,” Sleezy Sal says, and he runs upstairs and there are Jimbob's two stunning 19 year old twin daughters sitting on their beds
“Hey girls, your Dad sent me up here to fuck ya both.”  ...

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My Uncle Sal is gone 20 yrs today and he told me this joke when I was 5. I remember it vividly to this day (34yrs old), and still laugh thinking of him saying it in his quirky voice and animated gestures

Bear and Rabbit are walking in the woods together toward the stream.

Bear stops to squat and take a hot shit.

As Rabbit patiently waits close by, Bear finishes up and politely asks Rabbit:

"Hey Rabbit, do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur??"

"Why no Bear, ...

I took my Grandfather to see the Impractical Jokers stand-up show.

Halfway through the show he turned to me and said, "Maybe I'm just out of touch but this show could be so much better. Sal, Joe, and Q aren't bad, but Murr just makes me want to scream."

So I said, "Ok. Boo Murr."

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The Golden Toilet

One night, Bob went out with his friends. The group went to about 5 different bars, and he drank a lot.

Like any normally functioning person, he really had to go near the end of the night. He quickly asked the bartender where the bathroom was.

"Down the hall, last door on the left," re...

I asked my Jamaican friend what he named his pet fish

He said “Sal mon”

Regretting a bender

A bartender looked up to see one of his regulars step up to the bar, and slouch over burying his head in his hands. The bartender asks, “Rough day, Sal? What should I pour you?” Sal mumbles, “Make it a water, I’m done drinking forever!” The bartender smirks, “ You’ve said that before, Sal, countles...

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Contagious

Once upon a time a teacher in a little school in South Virginia gave her 2nd grade students a small homework assignment. It was to listen for the word contagious and share the story with the class the next day.

The next day the teacher asked "so did anyone hear the word contagious?" A few han...

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Frank and Sally the Whales [long]

So two whales, Frank and Sally are swimming through the ocean eating various fish and plankton when they see a boat coming up on them.

Frank looks at the boat and says to Sally, "That is the whaling boat that killed uncle Sal."

Sally, skeptical, said "How do you know for sure?"

...

A man named Arthur gets in deep with the mob....

So this guy, Arthur, is in some serious debt. He's tried everything he can think of to make some money but can't seem to break even. Out of ideas, he makes contact with the local mob boss, Big Sal and says he'll do Sal's dirty work for some cash. The mob boss agrees and says he needs three rival mob...

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