Big Deal Jokes - 81 Hilarious Big Deal Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Is finding out your spouse sucked hundreds of dicks before getting married really such a big deal?

Or is my wife overreacting?

I don't know what the big deal is about Black Friday.

All Fridays matter.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I seem to stopped masturbating recently but it's no big deal...

Just haven't been feeling myself lately.

People make such a big deal about vegans, but I don't get it.

I've never had a beef with one.

I got kicked out of the pool for peeing in it. I said "what's the big deal? everybody pees in the pool"

They said "maybe, but not from the diving board"

I was out cow tipping the other day, and I pushed over the first cow, no big deal. When I went to push over the second one it went to the ground and came back up at me!

It turned its head, and said, "We bulls wobble but we don't fall down."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"Babe, a tiny penis isn't such a big deal.."

"I don't know Jenny.. I kinda wished you didn't have one at all.."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A: Why are you so sad?

B: I was watching porn and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.

A: Ok I see, but is that really such a big deal?

B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie

I just got fired for making a typo. It’s unreal. Like IT’S A TYPO! It’s not a big deal.

Firstly, “ie” and “y” are often interchangeable. Secondly a neon sign saying “Comedy Here” is way less eye-catching. And thirdly, the client said it themselves, they’d never had so many people walk in their door.

Our company has been working on this big deal for a year and I just blew it.

Oh well, I guess it’s no big deal.

The reopening of Lego World in 2021 was a big deal.

People were lined up for blocks.

I got my kid a puppy as a present, but it died before Christmas...

FML, now I'm stuck taking care of a puppy.

Some people will tell you that a rapid irregular heartbeat isn't a big deal,

but that's a-fib.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New wife: “Having a small penis is no big deal...”

New husband: “I kind of wish you didn’t have one at all.”

I witnessed an actual murder in real life and didn't tell anyone about it.

Crows are common in my area so it wasn't a big deal.

I just don’t understand why everyone is making such a big deal about Eminem kneeling at the Super Bowl…

He literally said his knees were weak like 2 minutes earlier…

I told a girl that periods are no big deal

She ovary acted

Little girl goes up to her father and says "Daddy talk like a frog"

Dad says "get out of here, talk like a frog." The next day again the little girl says "daddy talk like a frog."
Dad says "I told you yesterday beat it with the frog stuff."
Again on the next day she says to her dad "Daddy please can you talk like a frog?"
Her dad looks at her an...

I don't see what's the big deal about driverless cars.

Every parking lot is full of them.

Why do girls tend to make a big deal out of things when they are on their period?

Because they are ovary acting.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I don't know why sex with customers is such a big deal

Well, anyway, I lost my job at the cemetery.

My SUV needs all 4 tires replaced at a total cost of $800. That's more than the stimulus they gave us and so the wife freaked out a little.

I told her that it's no big deal and we can just rent a SUV for a day and it would only cost $50.

She said I was an idiot and that we would need an SUV for more then 24 hours.

Then I explained to her that it's more then enough time for me to swap the tires.

My wife thinks I compulsively buy tools. I tell her it's really not a big deal....

It's my vice.

Some people don’t know why the black hole picture is such a big deal...

Honestly, they just don’t get the gravity of it.

I don't understand what the big deal with slavery was.

From the sounds of it, a lot of them were educated since so many of them had their Masters.

Why was the biblical Flood such a big deal?

Why couldn't just God dam it?

I don't know what's the big deal about bidets.

The sink's been right there the whole time and you barely have to hop up at all.

An Indian baker was making a big deal about his bread...

...turns out it was a na'an issue.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber...

He awoke before the Pearly Gates where saint Peter said,"You died in your sleep Ralph."

Ralph was stunned. "I'm dead?No I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!

"St Peter said," I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken."

Ralph...

It wasn't a big deal when the solider got an STI

It was an honorable discharge.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I finally saw 2 girls, 1 cup and I don't see what the big deal is

It's a shitty video.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I don't understand the big deal about same sex marriage

Ask any married couple, they'll tell you the sex has been the same for years

It's not a big deal that people are now printing guns using 3D printers

I have had a Canon printer for years.

I don't see why the Paris agreement is such a big deal

Thousands of guys have pulled out of Paris before

I finally realized why the painting of Washington crossing the Delaware is such a big deal

It depicts the last time someone willingly entered New Jersey.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Q: Why is air a lot like sex?

A: Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

People don't make a big deal about elevators, but they are really ahead of their time...

It's some next level shit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the big deal with same-sex marriage? I’ve been having the same sex with my wife for years.

She’s a man.

Not knowing that it's called "baby corn" isn't a big deal...

...but everyone looked at me REALLY weird when I said "oooh, I LOVE child corn" in a crowded restaurant.

I don't get what the big deal is with spiders. Why is everyone so scared of them?

I got to know the spider living in the corner of my room. We talked about our dreams and goals, he wants to be a Web designer.

For like a week every month, my wife will make a big deal out of the smallest things

I think she's just ovary acting

The phone bill was exceptionally high...

.... so the husband called a family meeting to discuss the issue.

Dad: This is unacceptable. I don't use the home phone, I use my work phone.

Mum: Me too. I hardly use our home phone. I use my company's phone.

Son: I always use my office mobile, I never touch the home phone.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Nick had always wanted to own a motorcycle, which is why he leapt at the chance when a friend of a friend was selling his bike

The bike, despite being old, was in immaculate condition.

"How do you keep it so pristine?" asks Nick.

"Oh, it's easy! Any time it's about to rain, I just coat the body with vaseline, and the rain and mud just slips right off! Here, I'm not going to need it anymore, why don't you take ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Told 4 year old neighbor kid that it's no big deal to poop your pants, it just happensl. I wish I hadn't said a thing...

Because now he won't shut up and quit teasing me about it.

I don’t see what’s the big deal about Jesus anyway. God sent him to earth to suffer and die. Well guess what

He did the same to us.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A middle-aged couple, Frank and Linda, rent out their basement to a college student named Bryce.

The basement bathroom does not have a bathtub, only a shower stall. So whenever Bryce wants to take a bath and not a shower, he has to use the tub in the upstairs bathroom.

One evening when Linda is at her book club, Frank decides to give Bryce a bath in his tub. When the tub is almost full, ...

I think in a couple of months we're all going to sit back and just laugh at this so-called COVID crisis and say what was the big deal.

Well, not all of us.

I’m in trouble with my wife. I totally forgot her ‘special birthday’ that was such a big deal apparently.

Still, everything went fine and it was a healthy baby boy!

My neighbor likes to make a big deal about how SOME people prefer listening to rock music that's made using only a guitars, drums, and vocals. At first I thought he was just an opinionated music listener but...

I'm starting to think he's a bassist.

Elon Announces X will charge Users $1 A Year

So Elon Musk has announced that X will charge users $1 a year. Certain people are in an uproar. What's the big deal? I'm paying my ex $898 a month.

I do apologize for the terrible joke, but Elon handed us all puns on a silver platter.

Donald Trump was asked "what comes after the letter b in alphabet"

Folks, let me tell you, this is a great question. It's a huge question, it's tremendous. Just last day a decorated veteran with tears in his eyes came to me and asked" sir, please sir, can you answer what comes after the letter b in alphabet?". And let me tell you, the answer is a big deal. It's a b...

A lot of people make a big deal about age differences in couples. As far as I'm concerned a girl is fair game as soon as she's finished school.

So usually at about 3:15

In New York City, a fisherman reeled in a 250 pound catfish 6 feet 6 inches long.

I don't get what the big deal is. I do that on Tinder every day.

My sister won’t let me hold her baby anymore...

Last time I held my sister’s baby, I dropped it. It wasn’t even a big deal, but she started freaking out. It was an accident! Just an accident, no big deal. What happened was, after I was holding the baby and I inevitably dropped it, we start arguing and she’s overreacting big time. She called the c...

A prisoner digs a hole out of jail....

.... and ends up in a toddler playground
and yells "I'm free! I'm free!"
and a kids walks up and says "So big deal, I'm four!"

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven"...

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God."
St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God. God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle?"
Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me.....

Have you guys heard about the bird flu?

I mean, I don’t know why it’s such a big deal. They tend to do that quite often.

A cop pulled me over for my dark window tint.

I didn't understand why my glass being dark was such a big deal until he removed the tint.

Then it was clear to me.

A young businessman had just started his own firm.

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and furnished it with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wanting to appear busy, he picked up the phone and started to pretend big deal was in the works. He threw a huge figures around and ...

Earring no tales

Im on my lunch break at work and I notice a co-worker stroll in the lunch room so I offer him a seat. Were talking about the Dallas game, when I notice an earring in his right ear. No big deal, but this guy is pretty conservative with his work attire, so I felt obliged to ask him about his new acces...

Patient: Am I a bad person because I occasionally like to vape?

Psychiatrist: Not at all. It's really not a big deal.

Patient: Thanks! That's such a velief

My girlfriend hates when I pee in the shower...

But if it's such a big deal, why doesn't she just get out?

Brittney Griner and Viktor Bout are talking during prisoner exchange, arguing about who lives in a freer country.

Brittney says, "America is the best! I can go to the White House, demand to see the president, and tell him I don't like the way he's running this country."

"Big deal," Viktor says, "I can do that too."

"You can?" Brittney says.

"Sure," says Viktor. I can walk up to the Kremlin...

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring...

The man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense".

The man walks up to him and says,

"I didn't know you were into earrings."

"Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.
<...

A guy is relaxing at home when he hears a loud banging on his front door. He opens the door to discover his next-door neighbor standing there looking outraged. "

What's the matter Bill?" he asks the neighbor. "I found your son's name written with pee in the snow between our houses!" he responds. "What's the big deal? He's a kid. Kids do that stuff". I'll tell you the big deal! It was in my daughter's handwriting!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Russian, Mexican, and a Texan...

Are all walking along a river. The Russian takes out a bottle of vodka, takes a small swig then throws the the rest in the river.

The Mexican exclaims, "Why would you just throw away a good bottle of vodka?!"

The Russian replies, "In the Mother Land, we have too much vodka. It's not bi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey...

The monkey immediately runs up to a pool table and eats one of the cue balls. The man profusely apologizes to the bartender but the bartender said it was no big deal.

The following week, the man returns with his monkey but this time, the monkey's up on the counter taking peanuts from the bowl...

An engineering student is called into the Dean’s office…

The dean says “While we know you are doing well in your engineering studies, there some very troubling reports from your core curriculum professors. In English, your professor says you constantly use the passive voice in your essays; your art history professor says you are constantly confusing Carav...

The USA is proud because their Founding Fathers had strong convictions

Big deal the founders of Australia had convictions too.

Last night I got really drunk at the bar, so I took a bus home.

Which might not seem like a big deal, but I’ve never driven a bus before.

Things you can say about a Home, But not your spouse.

You can fit a family of 4 in there! even the in laws!

Just come in the back door it's no big deal.

Dangit we got another leak....

So my Dad walked in on me making out with my girlfriend

I was naturally very embarrased, as I didn't want my parents to know I had a girlfriend and make a big deal about it. But my Dad said to me, "Don't worry son, I won't tell your mother, this will be our little secret".

The next day I'm eating breakfast with my family. My Mom says to me, "Son, ...

The toilet brush

A man walks into a store looking for a toilet brush. The store owner shows him a variety of brushes at various pricepoints. The man thinks for a little while, then buys the cheapest one.

The next day the man is back at the store. "Were you unhappy with your purchase?" asks the shopkeeper. "We...

Remember the Louisiana Purchase?

That was a pretty big deal.

A surgeon is about to perform his first surgery...

...and the patient is lying on the surgical table, waiting for the anesthetist. The doctor grabs the patient's hand and takes a deep breath.

Surgeon: "Don't worry, Richard, this is not big deal, just a few cuts here and there, and all done in less than an hour. Tonight you rest, watch the gam...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old woman accidentally drops her fake teeth at the park while walking her dog.

She can’t find the teeth anywhere in the tall grass. A man spots her bending over and asks what she lost. “I dropped my false teeth somewhere around here.”

“Oh,” the man says, “that’s no big deal. Here, try this pair on.”

He hands her a set of teeth that are too big for her mouth. He h...

They're playing with the largest deck of cards ever at this year's World Series of Poker.

It's a pretty big deal.

- Mom, I've lost 2 kilograms and now I'm so worried that I cannot even sleep…

\- Mom, I've lost 2 kilograms and now I'm so worried that I cannot even sleep…

\- Son, don't panic, it's only 2 kilograms, no big deal.

\- Well, there are some Colombians who'd disagree with you mom…

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pussy and Bitch

A kid comes home from school and says to his mom, "Mom I've got a problem."

She says, "Tell me."

He tells her that the boys at school are using two words he doesn't understand.

She asks him what they are?

He says, "Well, pussy and bitch."

She says, "Oh that's no bi...

I don’t know why people think Trump can’t make a deal...

He makes a big deal out of everything.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is driving down the highway and sees a sign on the side of the road that reads "Free talking dog".

He is skeptical but also curious and decides to pull over. He walks up to an old farm house and sees an old dog sitting on the porch. As he walks up the dog greets him with a "Hey, how's it going?"
The man is stunned as the dog stares at him waiting for a reply. Finally the man says "wow, this is...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.