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American Indian Jokes

the stranded woman and the kind indian

A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.

She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes...

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Hillary Clinton was invited to address a major gathering of the American Indian Nation two weeks ago in upstate New York.

She spoke for almost an hour about her plans for increasing every Native American’s present standard of living. She referred to her time as a U.S. Senator and how she had voted for every Native American issue that came to the floor of the Senate.

 

Although Hillary was vague a...

Three American Indians get lost in the forest..

Indian No.1: "What do we do?"

Indian No.2: "I don't know, we're Indian, we're not supposed to get lost in the forest!"

Indian No.3: "We could do like the white man and fire three shots into the air."

Indian No.2: "How does that help?"

Indian No.3: "Well, when the white ma...

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A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his:

Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out. "Business trip or pleasure?"

She turned, smiled and said. "Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."

He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him and sh...

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Guy comes across an American Indian.

Indian has his ear to the ground and says “White Chevy Tahoe. Four door. License plate XPV 14785. Has a Coexist bumper sticker.”

Guy; very impressed says “wow, you can get all that information just from listening to the ground.”

Indian “no you dumb ass, that’s what the asshole t...

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A cowboy sees a bunch of American Indians on the horizon and thinks: ''I'm fucked...'', but a voice in the back of his head says: ''Not so fast! Kill the chief!!!''

''What?! Why?'' - thinks the cowboy.

''Just kill the chief!'' - says the voice.

The cowboy hesitated a bit more and than drew his gun and shot the chief.

As the chief was falling from his horse the voice in the cowboy's head said: ''*Now* you're fucked...''

An American Indian and his Son are Hunting

"Buffalo come" the father says. "How you do know?" asks the son.
The father points towards his lobe and says "Stick to ear".

An American Indian chief took three wives...

To the first, he gave a buffalo hide. To the second, he gave a deer hide. But for the third, his favorite, he sent a brave far away, across land and water, to retrieve the rare and highly coveted hide of the hippopotamus.

Within a year, the first two squaws had each borne the Indian chief a s...

Did you hear about the young american indian frog tribe?

They were tad-pole dancers.

Grammar Lesson.

On his 70th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife.

The certificate was for consultation with a Native American Indian medicine man (on a nearby reservation) who was rumored to have a simple cure for erectile dysfunction.

The husband went to the reservation and sa...

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Four American Indians are arguing over who has the longest penis

The first one says, "watch this," and proceeds to tie his into a knot.

The second Indian refuses to be outdone and proceeds to tie his in two knots.

The third Indian refuses to be shamed, so he ties his tight into three knots.

Then the forth Indian says, "How come?"

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Barbara Walters was doing a documentary on the customs of American Indians.

Barbara Walters was doing a documentary on the customs of American Indians. After a tour of a reservation, she asked a Brave,who had only one feather in his headdress, "Why the difference in the number of feathers in the headdresses?" His
reply was, "Me have only one sqaw, me have only one feathe...

American Indian female wrestling

A tribe of Native Americans generally referred to their woman by the animal hide with which they made their blanket. Thus, one woman might be known as Squaw of Buffalo Hide, while another might be known as Squaw of Deer Hide. This tribe had a particularly large and strong woman, with a very unique...

Memory

A tourist was introduced to a Native American Indian in New Mexico who was said to have a perfect memory. Skeptical, the tourist asked, "What did you have for breakfast on September 10, 1943? " The Indian answered, "Eggs. " The man scoffed, "Everyone eats eggs for breakfast. He's a phony. "Thirteen ...

Nicki Minaj researched her family tree and discovered she was part American Indian.

The tribe: Arapahoe.

A native American indian is talking to his psychiatrist

He tells him "Doc, I dont know what is wrong with me. One moment I think I'm a teepee, the next I think I'm a wigwam."

The doctor says "Ah, I think I see your problem. You're too tense."

Ancestry

My co-worker tells the best stories. He said:

I did that ancestry DNA thing and it came back that I was 20% American Indian. It makes sense because after I went to prom it rained for 2 weeks.

"Five Horses Is Her Name"

A man asked an American Indian what was his wife's name. He replied, "She is called Five Horses".
The man said, "That's an unusual name for a wife. What does it mean?"
The Old Indian answered, "It old Indian name. It mean ..."
"NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG!"

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I overheard a lady talking about penis sizes.

She was saying she seen in a magazine it said American Indians had the largest penis size and Mexicans had a penis with the largest diameter.

I walked up and said let me introduce myself. My name is Tonto Rodriguez.

Chance

A tourist arrived in a small town in the South West and while he is taking in the sights he notices an old Native American Indian on the corner of the street who lifts his hand and says "Chance" each time a pretty woman passes by. After seeing this happen a few times, his curiosity got the better o...

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Walking Eagle

Barack Obama spoke for nearly an hour at the American Indian Convention,
referring to the audience as his red brothers and red sisters. Obama promised the native Americans
expanded job opportunity, improved living conditions and a higher standard of living.
Although detail was vague or l...

An American Indian meets a cowboy

Since neither of them knows each other's language, they start a sign conversation.

Indian approaches first, pointing his finger to cowboy's chest. Cowboy responds with pointing his two fingers to Indian's face. Then Indian makes a rooftop gesture with his hands, to which cowboy reacts with a ...

Did you hear about the American Indian who died from drinking too much tea?

He drowned in his own tepee!

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An elderly man finds he is unable to perform sexually.

He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things; but nothing seems to work. So the doctor refers him to an American Indian medicine man.

He goes to see the Indian and the medicine man says, "I can cure this."

With that said, he throws a white powder in a flame, and there is a fl...

An American guy is talking with European in some bar in USA.

The American guy is saying: "I heard you have now some problems with immigrants in Europe."

An American Indian bends from the next table and says: "Pay attention to that, we heavily underestimated that once"

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Sex Statistics on a Plane.

A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be
seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They
exchange brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies,
"This is a very interesting book about sexual statis...

"It's a-Comin" Muslims...

Subject: It's a comin'

Three strangers strike up a conversation in the airport lounge in
Bozeman, Montana, awaiting their flights.

One is an American Indian, passing thru from Lame Deer. Another is a
cowboy on his way to Billings for a livestock show. And the third is a
fun...

Indian On The Road

I'm driving from Santa Fe to Albuquerque when I see an American Indian lying on the road with his ear to the ground. Curious, I pull over, walk up to him and ask, "Excuse me, what are you doing?" He says, "Silver 1991 Chevy station wagon, one man, one woman, two children". I say, "Wow, you can te...

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