UPJOKE
videotelephonywindowsiosmacosdropboxandroidlinuxfirefoxsafaritelecommutinggoogleyoutubesalesforcehostshudder

Zoom Call Jokes

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a Dutchman are all on a zoom call.

The four men are all on a zoom call with their boss. Their boss asks “Can you see me?” and they respond

“Yes”

“Oui”

“Si”

“Ja”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Military officer got caught masterbating on a Zoom call

You could say it was an honourable discharge.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Raise your hand if you've been caught masturbating on a Zoom call.

Maybe you should have raised the other hand.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Breaking: CNN legal analyst caught masturbating on a Zoom call

Guess you could say he just couldn't keep his Toobin his pants

Bernie, Joe and Donald are on a Zoom call.

Bernie Sanders, Joe Biden, and Donald Trump secretly have regular Zoom conversations.

Bernie: “I dreamed last night that God spoke to me. He said that he wanted me to be president.”

Joe: “That’s funny. I had the exact same dream.”

Donald: “I don’t remember talking to either of y...

I’m getting paid a lot to shut down Zoom calls...

Now I’m making ends meet by making meets end!

President Joe Biden announced that he would give a free bottle of Bud Light to anyone who got a vaccine.

Not to be outdone, the next day, the President Obrador of Mexico announced that he would give a bottle of Corona to anyone who got a vaccine.

The day after, the President Higgins of Ireland announced that he'd be giving out free bottles of water.

Biden and Obrador were confused and gav...

On the eve of Joe Biden's inauguration, prominent members of the previous Democrat administrations have a Zoom call to toast the end of the Trump presidency.

Among other topics, conversation turns to Amazon and Google's targeted marketing and the methods they employ. To lighten the mood, Bill Clinton suggests that he and his former vice-president have an impromptu jam session for everyone on saxophone and bongos respectively, something they secretly did ...

Someone asked me about my background and I gave a detailed reply, telling him about my education, career, relatives, hopes and dreams.

Turns out he just wanted to know what was behind me on our Zoom call.

Spelling matters!

I was waiting on a Zoom call to start, but client was having technical issues. The client texted and said, "please bare with me." Thought it was an odd request, but he's the client.

Eventually we got the video to work, but now I'm fired.

I put my pants on the same way as everybody else

Not at all because Zoom calls only see the top of the body.

Ever since my wife started working, the dishes have been piling up

because when I unload the dishwasher the noise interrupts her zoom calls, and I want to be mindful of her professional image so I wait until later in the evening to clean.

The 12 Days of Corona

In the year 2020, the pandemic gave to me:
12 Cancelled Plans
11 Face Masks
10 Sanitizers
9 Murder Hornets
8 Zoom Calls
7 Mental Breakdowns
6 Feet Apart
5 Curbside Pickups
4 Quarantines
3 Travel Restrictions
2 Karens Complaining
And a massive shortage of Grocery S...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.