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Yoga Pants Jokes

Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga …

And 100% of men don’t care.

Women who wear yoga pants...

Are like barb wire fence. They keep the yard safe without obstructing the view.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The thing I love most about this fall weather is the UGG boots and yoga pants..

... Though, they do make me look a bit gay.

What do deaf-mute people like about yoga pants?

They make lip-reading easier.

Did you hear Adidas just released their new line of plus-sized yoga pants?

They’re called Adipose.

Men need to stop staring and yelling at me when I wear yoga pants. I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for me, because it's comfortable...

Who cares if you can see my balls?

Rules for wearing animal print yoga pants:

1. Weigh less than the animals they represent

2.

3.

They say the inventor of yoga pants had comfort in mind

But I like to think he had posterior motives.

A yoga pants owner, an uggs owner, and an iphone owner walks into a starbucks

She orders a drink - Pumpkin Spice Latte

What do you call a fat girl in yoga pants at Walmart?

Cashier

Three things that never lie.....

Little kids, drunk people, and yoga pants

What did the blind man say to the deaf lady?

"You should have wore yoga pants, I can't read your lips!"

I caught a 450 lb catfish the other day

That’s gotta be a record! She was squeezed into yoga pants at the end of the bar.

I think my mirror is broken

I said pumpkin spice latte 3 times in front of it and no white girl in yoga pants appeared.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 dogs at a vet

3 dogs were waiting at a vet clinic.

Dog1: I was a very naughty boy, I bit everyone I could and even the masters baby, I am here to be put down. What about you guys?

Dog2: Well I was a naughty boy as well, I just can't wait in one place, and I destroy everything in my masters house, I ...

My employer made a rule forbidding females to wear yoga pants or leggings to work and the women are very upset about it.

I think they should just put on their big girl pants and get over it.

Topical Jokes (5/25-5/26)

Hey, sorry for the tardiness! Been on the road lately. Here's some jokes to cap up the last couple days.

Governor Christie met with Snooki over the weekend, but things got a tad awkward when Christie licked his lips and asked, "But seriously, are you actually a meatball?"

Big Catholic ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A true story that has a punchline

I was standing out in front of a big box store with my dad, waiting on my Aunt to shop. When we see a beautiful African American lady walk past in yoga pants. I’m talking drop dead gorgeous!

After watching her walk into the store, my dad comments “Holy crap, those should be illegal!”

I...

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