An eye-rolling joke

Dad: You know who all I saw today?

Daughter: Who?

Dad: Everybody I looked at

Daughter: Huh?!

Dad: You don't like my vision joke? Too bad, that's how eye-roll ** rolls eyes **

Daughter: I'm not laughing at your eye rolling jokes again

Dad: Why? Is it too "...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Unemployment xD xD [NSFW]

Condom: You take my job for a week.

Tampon: yeah but when you f*ck up I lose my job for 9 months.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Don't know what to say.... XD

[During sex]

*Knock on the door*

Woman: Shit! It's my boyfriend

Man: Oh shit!!! *Pulls out and jumps down from the bed* What do we do?

Woman: Hide in the closet. Quick!

Man: Okay, smart. Let me just...wait...

Woman: What?

Man: Karen, I'm your husband...

How do you know if a mermaid will be top half fish or bottom half fish?......Flip a coin! Heads or tails?!

sorry if this joke was a bit fishy but I just go with the flow\~ xD

I made a belt out of watches once..

It was a waist of time XD

What room is useless for a ghost?

A living room xD

Getting in on this new trend, I have decided I am a Ψ male.

When I am observed I just collapse.

Really sorry for the bad physics joke XD.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A dung Beatle walks into a bar and asks

Is this stool taken?

What do you call a company that replants fields of grass using cropduster airplanes?

A re-seeding airline!

This joke sucks but it's my cakeday and I was told there would be plentiful imaginary internet points .... XD

Women are lean at marriage, making it easier to carry them across treshold.

Then we get heavier so men can't get us out of the house. xD

What is green,has 4 legs and can kill you if it's falls from a tree?

A pool table.

It's funny because you wouldn't expect a pool table on a tree. xD

When furries would be closer to extinction they'll be


I went to a pharmacy and asked for 50 condoms.

There were 2 girls behind me who started laughing. I turned around and looked them straight in the eyes and said, "make that 52".
Now both of them have condom balloons :D

What would you call a doctor on call?

Q: What do you call a doctor on call?
A: An oncologist

Sorry if this joke gave you cancer xD

Why are 490 Romans funny?

Because XD

Its finally my cake day, thank god it isn't a circle.

Else it would be a pi.

Note: I hate to think if this hastily because I am late for my cake day. xd

What do you call a chicken who is good at math?

A mathma-chicken! XD

How do you make 490 Roman soldiers laugh?


Hey what do you call a bunch of scaredy cows?

cowherds. xD

A group of adventurers embarks on a quest

"DragonFlameKing", who is the highest level in the party, gathers the others before they begin the quest to discuss strategies and check their supplies.

-Alright, gear and equipments look fine so hear me out for a little bit. This quest is not too demanding but it's still hard. I am a Juggern...

Simple Math

I'm at work and go to use the Hand Sanitizer. I put 2 pumps in my hands and rub it in. My boss goes, "Why do you use 2 pumps? You only need 1." to which I reply, "Simple math. You use 1 pump and it kills 99.99% of germs, so if you use 2 pumps, you kill almost 200% of germs!"

XD This c...

What did the emo computer say to the other emo computer?

rar XD *uncompresses your files*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New English premier league football (soccer) joke that I learnt today.

What does an Arsenal player do when he wins the champions league?

He turns off the PlayStation.

P.S. XD. Now I haven't supported or watched football in many years, but this joke got me.

R.I.P Bob

Bob was a bus conductor-cum-driver. He had been going through rough times, with his wife leaving him for his best friend. One day on the job, he saw a young woman, probably in her early 20's signalling for the bus. Bob couldn't hold his rage in anymore and vented his frustration on the pedal, killin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This scientist goes to an all male tribe

Over the course of his stay, he gets curious and asks the tribe chief how the men have sex, so he tells him "Come down to the river tomorrow morning and we'll show you."
The next morning the scientist goes down to the river and sees all the men gathered round a donkey and the leader tells him tha...

Uncle Ben has died...

I guess there's no more Mr. Rice guy. XD

What makes a blonde and a Tornado similar? (Sorry blondes)

What makes a Blonde and a Tornado similar?

At first it’s sucking and blowing and next thing you know, YOUR HOUSE AND CAR ARE GONE! xD thank you! I’ll be here all year!

The difference between Canadian and American men...

Back during WWII, an American GI met a Canadian soldier fighting along side him. The two fought together throughout the war and both made it home safely.

After the war, the two returned to their respective homes and decided to marry their respective sweethearts. The two became such good fri...

Roses are red Nuts are brown Skirts go up....

Roses are red,
Nuts are brown,
Skirts go up,
Pants go down,
Body to body Skin to skin,
When its stiff,
Stick it in,
The Longer its in,
The Stronger it gets,
It goes in dry And comes out wet,
It comes out dripping And starts to sag,
Its not what you think......

What do you call it when two psychics reach a compromise?

A happy medium!

No idea if I was the first to ever tell this joke, but I was damn proud of myself when I put it together as a kid xD

How did the rabbit know his wife was cheating on him?

He found multiple hares in his bed XD

With Jesus now! 18+

Young David came home from school one day and found his pet chicken laying on the ground with his legs pointing straight up into the sky. When his father got home, he explained that the chicken has died and his legs were pointed up to Jesus in heaven.

They buried the chicken and that was tha...

What do you call a trans woman who's laughing?


This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Baby Shark

(My Greek Grandmother use to tell me this joke as a kid its awfully dry but when you get older you laugh at how stupid it is haha hope you enjoy)

One day the baby Shark went with his father to learn how to catch food,

First the Father taught the baby how to catch a Fish by just out sw...

How many ears does Captain Kirk have?

A left ear, a right ear, and a final frontier.


A Teacher asked: Which part of the body goes to heaven first?

A Kid replied: The legs... Because everynight I see my mum's legs up high and screaming "OH GOD! I'M COMING!!


This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do u call a nun In a wheel chair

Virgin mobile. XD

have you heard of the new movie "Constipation"?

that's because it hasn't come out yet! XD

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It was a dark and starry night……

A man was driving down a road through a dark forest, when suddenly his car broke down. It was getting very late, so the man decided to scout the area on foot. He gets his flashlight and starts walking. He finds a monastery nearby. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car bro...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A sales representative enters a house

A sales representative who sells vacuum cleaners entered a house and started throwing goat shit at the carpet, the owner is shocked and asks him why did you do that!

The sales man answers him: "This is a very good vacuum cleaner! it can clean all that shit, if it doesn't, I'll eat all of it"<...

How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?

She fell out of the tree! I may not be a girl, but I'm blonde and find blonde jokes hilarious. xD

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] These two guys are stuck in a desert

They try to find some water and food but arent able to find any. Suddenly they come upon this huge house and one of them decides to go and ask for food and water. He rings the bell and this ugly woman with disgusting tits opens the door. So he asks her for rations and.she says he'll have to fuck her...

Why was Vladimir late to gym class?

cause he was Putin his shoes on XD

What type of memory card is always laughing?

The XD card.

Why were the Seven Dwarfs kicked out of the bar?

Because they were Miners... XD

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.