UPJOKE
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Xd Jokes

Dark humor xD

A husband got called into a hospital. His wife's just had a really bad car accident... He's pacing nervously in waiting hall expecting the doctor to come out of the OR. Finally the doctor comes out.

- 'How is she, doctor?'
- 'Well, she's alive... and that's good news. But there is some bad...

Why are 490 Romans funny?

Because XD

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Unemployment xD xD [NSFW]

Condom: You take my job for a week.

Tampon: yeah but when you f*ck up I lose my job for 9 months.

I went to a pharmacy and asked for 50 condoms.

There were 2 girls behind me who started laughing. I turned around and looked them straight in the eyes and said, "make that 52".
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Now both of them have condom balloons :D

What do you call a company that replants fields of grass using cropduster airplanes?

A re-seeding airline!



This joke sucks but it's my cakeday and I was told there would be plentiful imaginary internet points .... XD

A recruiter said to a candidate, "In this job, we need someone who is responsible"

The job applicant replies,

"I" am the one you want. In my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible. XD

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Don't know what to say.... XD

[During sex]

*Knock on the door*

Woman: Shit! It's my boyfriend

Man: Oh shit!!! *Pulls out and jumps down from the bed* What do we do?

Woman: Hide in the closet. Quick!

Man: Okay, smart. Let me just...wait...

Woman: What?

Man: Karen, I'm your husband...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I’m back with another shitty joke again!! Alright so I just figured out why Teslas are so damn expensive…

It’s because they charge A LOT xD

An eye-rolling joke

Dad: You know who all I saw today?

Daughter: Who?

Dad: Everybody I looked at

Daughter: Huh?!

Dad: You don't like my vision joke? Too bad, that's how eye-roll ** rolls eyes **

Daughter: I'm not laughing at your eye rolling jokes again

Dad: Why? Is it too "...

What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?

An RC-XD

Sorry for such dark humor lol

What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?

An rc-xd

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