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Wurst Jokes

Breaking news: Germany is advising people to stock up on sausages and cheese.

This is starting to look like the Wurst Käse scenario.

Jokes about German sausages are the wurst

I told this to a friend and he said that he'd never sausage a thing

Today I saw the wurst thing happen to a pig

I wish I never sausage a thing

Don't you just hate jokes about German sausages?

They are the wurst.

Did you hear about the pessimist who hates sausage?

They say he fears the wurst

I‘m traveling in Germany

But I don‘t like the food.

It really is the wurst!

I am developing a fear of German sausage...

I fear the wurst

Germany is telling its citizens to stock up on sausages and cheese as fear of COVID grows.

It's the wurst-kase scenario

I don't know why Germans call sausages the Wurst!

I think they are the best!

I think I’ve developed a phobia of German sausages

I keep on fearing the wurst

A butcher goes to the hospital

His wife asked the doctor how he’s doing…



The doc replied he’s taken a turn for the wurst

With everything so expensive this year, it could be just German sausage and cheese for Christmas dinner.

But that's a Wurst-Käse scenario.

My dad just decided to invest in a sausage company.

It was the wurst decision of his life

In meat isle, two pieces of meat are talking.

One says...
Man, I really hate those sausages.

The other replies...
Yeah, they're the wurst!

I’m on a plane and the lunch choices are white meat chicken or German sausage. Unfortunately, I’m seated in the last row.

I’m hoping for the breast, but preparing for the wurst.

A German was packing his luggage for holiday when his wife interrupts him...

"I hope you're not going to bring sausages again", she said, "They exploded everywhere last time and caused a frightful scene!"

"It'll be fine", He said, "Stop worrying about the wurst case scenario".

What do they call Peppa Pig in Germany?

*Brat*wurst.

A couple decided to enter a local cooking competition. He did very well in the sausage category, but she got last place with chicken.

Together, they made the best wurst and the worst breast.

In the wake of inflation, and the conflict in Eastern Europe...

... the German government predicts an imminent shortage of sausage and cheese, and are formulating a plan for emergency intervention to deal with this impending crisis.

They're referring to the plan as their Wurst/Kase scenario.

My butcher has started making sausages from seabirds....

Today he has taken a tern for the wurst.

I thought burying my wurst for a few days would improve its attitude, but it just became a spoiled brat.

I'm sorry. That was completely terrible. I shouldn't have wasted your time.

I've recently developed a paranoia for German sausages.

I feel the wurst is yet to come.

A man working at a sausage factory died in a tragic accident

The forman calls the man's wife to break the news.
Unconsolable, she asks "how did it happen? Did he have a heart attack? Did he fall down the stairs?"
The forman replies "No, ma'am. He tripped into the machine that puts the ground meat into links."
"It's the wurst case scenario."

The other day I saw a sausage delivery truck crash.

It took a turn for the wurst.

What did the toilet say to the guy who ate a whole package of sausages?

Doo your wurst!

What’s the similarity between pessimists and people with a phobia of sausages?

They both fear the wurst

My girlfriend asked me if hotdogs were good for her diet

I replied, "They're not the wurst"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What did Hitler do to gain power in Germany?

He Brat out the Wurst in people.

Did you hear I got food poisoning from eating sausage?

Yeah, it was the wurst.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some say the best part of having kinky sex with a German girl is getting Vienna sausages shoved up your ass.

Others say it’s the wurst part.

My first day working at border customs was hectic

we arrested a big group of German meat smugglers. It was a wurst case scenario.

I went to a German food festival and almost died from food poisoning

It was the wurst.

Why don't Germans have sausage for breakfast?

Because that would mean things went from bed to wurst.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was fairly confident that the German prostitute was actually a man, but I hired them anyway in case I was wrong.

I was hoping for the breast but expecting the wurst.

You know, people tell me organ meat is offal...

But personally I think German meats are the wurst.

I thought I saw a sausage fly past my window, but it turns out it was a seabird.

I took a tern for the wurst.

We all know that no matter how kind you are, a German child is kinder

But let me tell you something, when they’re being brats, they’re the wurst!

What do you call a German sausage fest?

Wurst orgy ever.

Apparently, due to COVID Germany is running low on sausage and cheese.

The government considers this to be the Wurst Käse scenario

I was in a pub and I ordered a large cup of beer and a German sausage. It took them 20 minutes just to get me the cup of beer.

I am afraid the wurst has yet to come.

A man tried smuggling sausage and vodka out of Europe and his suitcase caught fire and they had to evacuate the plane.

The whole event was pretty terrible.

It was the Absolut-wurst-case scenario.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A list of puns

Here's a list of puns I've been collecting:

How do you throw a space party? You planet.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

Nope. Unintended.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.

A scarecrow says,...

What do you get when you cross a brain tumor with a german sausage?

The wurst headache

A vegan was flying to Germany and discovered the airline had forgotten his special meal. He had no choice but to eat the only meal available: sausage and cheese.

It was a Wurst-Käse scenario.

Whats the most controversial food?

Sausage. Its the best and also the wurst

4th of July picnic

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "How was your 4th of July picnic?" the bartender asks. "Horrible. Everyone came down with food poisoning," the guy replies. "I knew the hot dogs might have gone bad, but turns out the brats were the wurst."

My friend has just fed German sausage to a bird.

He’s taken a tern for the wurst.

My incompetent uncle Hans worked at a sausage shop in Frankfurt. One day he fell into the mixer.

Hans is literally the wurst.

They're closing sausage factories in Germany

They're calling it the wurst case scenario.

Two men sat down at a German restaurant for a 10 course meal.

After six of the courses had come out, one of the men remarked to the other "I wonder when the sausages are going to be served.".

The waiter overheard and assured the men that the sausages were coming out eventually by saying "Don't worry. The wurst is yet to come.".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A horny German propositioned me last night

I told him to do his wurst

sausage bread will always be by your side

for batter or for wurst

I know a nun who has a tendency to go around wearing a horrible garment made of German sausages

It must be her Wurst Habit

Going to try and make my own German sausages

What's the wurst that could happen?

My wife is a terrible cook. Tonight she's making German sausage.

I'll hope for the best, and prepare for the wurst

What do you call an annoying german kid?

A BratWurst

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