UPJOKE
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I got pulled over and my vape was in my cup holder.

The cop said “you know, the news says those things are killing people.”

I chuckled and said “they’re saying the same thing about you guys.”

He didn’t laugh.

How can you tell whether or not someone vapes?

Wait thirty seconds.

I put my vape on a necklace

Juulery

Release the vaccine in vape form.

I promise you no one will ask what’s in it at that point.

The guy who invented the vape died today.

He will be mist.

What do you call an heirloom vape pen?

A family Juul

Today I tried nicotine free juice in my vape

0mg

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man on the street said I look like I have a penis in my mouth when I vape

So I took my Personal Electronic Nicotine Inhalation System and left.

Did you guys hear about the vape store robbery the other day?

Cops said to be on the lookout for a Juul thief.

I didn't know you could vape a chocolate bar until...

...my wife told me to stop inhaling them.

What do they measure vape batteries in?

Juuls.

How much energy does it take to hit a vape?

1 juul

How do you know if someone is a vegan hipster with an iphone that vapes?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

If you were to rob a vape shop,

Could you call it a juul heist?

I think my parents think I'm a vape

Because they're always hitting me

Patient: Am I a bad person because I occasionally like to vape?

Psychiatrist: Not at all. It's really not a big deal.

Patient: Thanks! That's such a velief

Goodwill has announced they will no longer accept donations of vape or tobacco products

Clothes, but no cigar.

I let a kid in my neighborhood use my vape pen

I was later arrested for child vape

Doctor to Patient do you smoke?

Patient: yes

Doctor: marijuana, cigarettes, cigars, Vapes?

Patient: mostly brisket, and pork.

If I sell an E-Cigarette to a minor.

Is that considered statutory vape?

What do you call someone who robs vape shops?

A Juul thief.

Twas the night 2018

Twas the night 2018

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the web
The president was tweeting as the market went red
The government was closed because of a wall
In hopes that Mexico, would pay for it all

The people were nestled, their head in their hands
While visi...

Did you hear what happened to that guy who has rhotacism and always smokes an E-cigarette?

He told me he got vaped last night.

I got arrested buying E-Cigs for minors...

They charged me with statutory vape.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sam died...

And found himself in hell. Greeted by Satan, he started crying.
Confused, Satan asks him what's wrong?

Well, I'm in literal Hell! Answered Samuel.

Oh, it's not as bad here as you think. Tell me, do you drink?

Well, can't say I've ever spat in a glass, Samuel answered.
...

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