Travel Agent Jokes

“Last year you suggested The Maldives and when I returned my wife was pregnant. The year before that you suggested a safari in Africa and when I returned my wife was pregnant. And before that you suggested Bali and when I returned my wife was pregnant. Can you suggest somewhere cheaper this year ... read more

Sheikh: I am about ready for a vacation. Only this year, I am going to do it a little differently....

The last few years, I have been taking your advice on where to go....

Three years ago you said go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and spent some days and my wife Razia got pregnant........ read more

The travel agent responded by saying that Mexico would be a very ice pick.

So there is this Irish Travel Agent and he always tries to get people to go to and visit Ireland, this old woman asks him where she should go visit..so he starts talking about how great Ireland is and the lady says back, well " I don't like cold weather, the constant rain, and all the Catholics ther... read more

A man is walking down the street when he sees a sign in the window of a travel agency that says CRUISES - $100. He goes into the agency and hands the guy $100. The travel agent then whacks him over the head with a baseball bat and throws him in the river.
Another man is walking down the street a ... read more

So he goes to his travel agent to get some recommendations. God asks the agent where he should go and the agent says, "How about the Moon? It's supposed to be all the rage right now."

God thinks about it and says, "No... I'd like to go somewhere with a little more atmosphere."

So the a... read more

A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and an older gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world. The agent had had a good week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity. ~~~He c... read more

a flea goes into a travel agency and says, “oh i’ve been working so hard for the last few years, i really need a holiday.”

travel agent asks, “what kinda holiday were you in the market for?”

flea says, “i want to go somewhere bright and sunny, somewhere that i can just relax and enjoy ... read more

A man walks into a travel agency. He approaches the travel agent and says, "Hello. My fortieth anniversary is coming up and I'd like to plan a special trip for my wife."

"Wow," replies the travel agent, "Forty years? How do you keep the magic alive for so long?"

"Well," replies the man... read more

He goes to meet his travel agent:
"We have a special on Andromeda, Cthulu resort." - Nah it's way too hot...
"How'bout skiing in Pillars Of Creation?" - Maybe something cheaper, this time?
"Well, You may try the Earth, Solar System new Spa, great price".
- ... Been there like 2000 yea... read more