Tootsie Jokes

I'm currently being rushed to the hospital and as of now the world may never know.

When I was little, my grandmother used to tell a joke about an ant riding on a piece of poop in the toilet and singing "floating down the river on a tootsie roll." My husband doesn't believe me. Grandma passed a year and a half ago so I can't ask her. Anyone know what I am talking about?

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies .

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So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wi... read more

One PAYDAY, MR. PEANUT wanted a BIT o' HONEY, so he took MARY JANE back behind the POWERHOUSE on the corner of CLARK and FIFTH AVE. He began to feel her MOUNDS. That was pure ALMOND JOY!! It made his TOOTSIE ROLL. He let out some SNICKERS as his BUTTERFINGER went up her JUICY FRUIT and caused a MILK... read more

It was another Payday and I was tired of being Mr. Goodbar.

I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, "Hey Sweetart, how'd you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?"

Well, she... read more