UPJOKE
flashspeed forcejustice leaguemultiversesupermanwally westteen titansdc universekid flashglimmerglintgleamflickertwinklebatman

The Flash Jokes

If the Flash dies...

Will they have to Barry Allen?

Who is faster? Superman or the flash?

Umm. The cameraman?...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Flash is walking along down the beach...

Flash stops in his tracks when ahead of him he sees Wonder Woman laying on her back with her legs spread wide open, naked in all her glory.

Flash takes a moment to think to himself, "I could probably fly in there, do the nasty and get out before she notices!"

After contemplating it for...

Barry Allen (the Flash) wanted to have an herb garden, but decided against it.

I mean, he really shouldn't be travelling through thyme...

My wife was photographing some superheroes last night. I suggested to her to turn the flash on...

...turns out, he really enjoys a lap dance.

A man is driving to work when he notices the flash of a traffic camera.

He figures that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knows that he wasn’t speeding. Just to be sure, he circles the block and passes the exact same spot, driving even slower this time through. Again, the camera flashes. He thinks it is hilarious, since he was obviously ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How come The Flash leaves his partners temporarily blinded after sex?

Cause they get Flashbanged.

Superman challenges The Flash to a race

"You will never beat me" said the flash, "but I guess I can let you try" they agree to run from the east coast of the U.S to the west.

The race begins and Superman runs as fast as he can, he puts absolutely everything he's got into it but when he gets to the west coast he see's the flash sit...

Whats the difference between Quicksilver and The Flash.

Only one can catch a bullet.

Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"

Bob responds, "No, I haven’t. Do they call him that because he runs fast?" Jeff replies, “Nah, they call him that because he doesn’t wear pants.”

Why did the Flash leave that greasy diner so quickly?

Because he got a bad case of the runs!

As a kid my favorite superhero was The Flash and my favorite animal was the cheetah,

I guess that explains why I'm now addicted to speed

Why did the Flash Drive cross the road?

Because it missed the bus.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Superman and The Flash

Superman and the Flash were jogging around Central Park when they spot Wonder Woman sunbathing naked behind some bushes. Superman says to Flash "That is one fine piece of ass" The Flash says "you know Superman, with my super speed I bet I can screw her brains out and be gone before she suspects any...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"When I learned how to edit videos I felt like the Flash..."

Friend: "Why, because you fast learner?"

Me: "No, because I fucked up the timeline."

Seeing the flash in the distance, Elton John knew he only had moments to live. He turned to the nearest celebrity at the party for one last human embrace.

"Hold me closer, Tony Danza."

What's the flashes favorite element?

Barium

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What movie title best fits The Flash's sex life?

The Fast and the Furious.

What did Wonder Woman tell The Flash when he saw that he was greying?

"I still find you dashing"

Recently I was at a store walking down the flash drives and hard drives section.

I have to say, it was quite a walk down the memory lane.

The flash from the Hiroshima bomb was so bright...

...that even today, people there walk around with their eyes in a squint

Police patrol in the Outback

Recently a routine police patrol was parked outside a bar in the Outback.

After last call, the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a superpowered stripper?

The Flash

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.