I hate suppositories

Too bitter.

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Suppositories

A woman hears her husband cussing up a storm From behind the bathroom door.
She knocks and asks, 'honey ,what is it?' Her husband emerges from the bathroom and says, 'The doctor prescribed suppositories for this stomach problem I've been having and no matter what I do, I just can't get the sucker...

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How many suppositories come in a pack?

A buttload.

Doctor, these suppositories aren’t working!

Are you sure you’re using them the right way? Ask the doc

What do you think I’m doing?

Shoving them up my A?!&(:

My doctor prescribed me some suppositories for my nausea.

They’re not the best medicine in the world, but they’re right up there.

A constipated man goes to the doctor

He is really hurting. The doctor examines him and says "I am giving you a prescription for suppositories. Take them twice a day. You should be fine."



A week later the man returns to the doctor looking more grim than ever.



"Doc," he says, "I still haven't gone!"

<...

Suppositories

Clarence was a farmer who lived during a period when few medications were available. When a county Doctor examined him, he found a severe case of hemorrhoids. The Doc told him he had samples of a new treatment called suppositories and gave him a handful. When Clarence next saw the Doctor at church, ...

Joe goes to the doctor with severe constipation

Doctor gives him two suppositories. Joe goes home and swallows them.

Next day he goes back to the doctor.

"Doc I am still badly constipated."

Doctor gives him two more suppositories, and Joe again goes home and swallows them."

He again goes back to the doctor the next day...

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Did you hear about the dispensary that was selling suppositories?

It turns out they were just blowing smoke up everyone's ass.

John went to the doctors for a stomach pain that had been bothering him for months.

The doctor quickly identified the problem and prescribed some painkillers to alleviate the symptoms. But he explained:
"They're suppositories, so need to be taken rectally. I'll do the first one for you, so you know how."
So John bends forward and the doctor inserts the first suppository. It's...

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Steve went to doctor and after an exam he picked his prescription

When he came home, he opens the box and sees that "pills" look a bit strange. Asks wife and she cannot figure them either. So he calls doctor.

\- "Hi doctor, I got prescription today but pills are strange and don't look like something I could swallow."

\- "That's because those are not ...

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After being constipated for a couple weeks, a man finally decided to visit his doctor...

"Doc, I haven't pooped in weeks! Please help!"

Doc says sure, and writes him a prescription for a weeks worth of suppositories.

Man comes back the next day, "doc, I took the entire script last night, but nothing happened!"

The doc is shocked, as in his experience suppositories a...

A man was constipated, so he decided to go to the doctor. The doctor examined him and explained,

The doctor examined him and explained:"I'm going to give you some suppositories.

I'll insert one now, and then I'll give you another one for later this evening."

Later that evening, the man asks has his wife to insert the suppository.

She agrees reluctantly, puts one hand on ...

Hard to swallow

My friend says to me "I'm sick but I'm having a tough time keeping my medicine in me".
"Why don't you try taking it with food like soup or a banana?" I suggest.
A few days later I see him and he's looking a lot better.
"I tried taking my meds with a banana like you said and it worked!...

Two very active seniors

Two very active seniors (Jacob, age 92, and Mary, age 89), living in The Villages, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way, they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter, "Are you ...

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An old redneck goes to the doctor

He's been feeling unwell since a while, and moonshine doesn't help.
The doc examines him, then gives him a prescription for suppositories.
"Have 3 of those a day, and come back next week to see how it goes! " he says.
A week later, the old redneck comes back and complains he feels eve...

Hus: I got a package with bullets and arabic note today

Wife: Idiot! These are suppositories and the note from doctor.

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Cleetus had a embarrassing disease

So he went to the doctor:

" Sho doc, I have this scratchy in me parts and I was thinking you may have some midicin to you know get thi old junk back on health"

The doctor examined him and diagnosed with an STD, he gave him some suppositories

" Alright Mr thoothill, this supposi...

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A farmer travels to the nearest town to see the doctor.

The doctor diagnoses the farmer and hands him a jar of pills, explaining, “these are suppositories, take one a day for a month.”

The farmer thanks the doctor, adding, “Doc, I’m not an educated man. What is a sup-pos-it-ory?”

The doctor humbly answers, “they’re just like any pill, excep...

A man goes to the doctor, complaining of hemorrhoids.

The doctor examines him, writes him a prescription for suppositories, and tells him to come back in a week for a follow-up. When the man returns, he's quite upset.

"Doctor, my hemorrhoids havent gotten any better! Not to mention, those suppositories taste terrible!" he complains.

T...

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My doctor is an idiot

I'd been passing a bit of blood so I went in for a quick chat and an exam, and he mumbled something about how it wasn't cancer and wrote me out a prescription for some fancy doo-dads called "suppositories". The girl at the pharmacy counter blushed a bit as she handed them over - pretty little thing,...

Hemorrhoids

Guy goes to the doctor, has a bad case of the hems.

Doctor give him some suppositories and tells him use them 3 times a day and see him a week later.

A week later he goes to the doctor and the doctor asks how he's been doing.

"Hemorrhoids are worse than ever doc, I used all the ...

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Ever had to force your dog into taking their medication?

It's the worst, right? You try to cover it with peanut butter, even then they know you're up to something. So it gets kinda physical, have to get in there with both hands and hold them open and push it in with your finger, hoping they don't bite you. Turns into a wrestling match, sometimes. But as i...

A man goes to the doctor

"can you give me something to sleep? i didn't have a good night of sleep in weeks"

the doctor gives him some suppositories and says: "use these right before you go to sleep"

the next day the man returns to the doctor. "can you give me something less effective?"

"why?"

"be...

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A man with stomach pains went to the doctor's office.

The doctor recommended that he would take five suppositories, one each evening. The man asked the doctor what a suppository was. The doctor explained that suppositories are like pills but they go into the ass instead. The doctor proceeded to show him how to take the suppositories by inserting a supp...

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A man went to the doctor complaining of stomach cramps.

The doctor prescribed him a course of suppositories to ease the pain and told him to come back in a week.

A week later he returns. The doctor asks him how the suppositories worked.

The guy says "they were absolutely useless. For all the good they did I may as well have just shoved them...

Originally an Arabic joke!

A small town had one pharmacy until another opened across from the old one. A guy walks in the new pharmacy and asks the pharmacists for some Aspirin the pharmacist hands him one giant tablet, the man asks, “How is this supposed to help? It’s not gonna kill me?” The pharmacist says “Oh no, you see, ...

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A guy goes to the doctor's...

He tells the doctor he is constipated. The doctor prescribes him some suppositories and tells him to come back in two days. Two days pass. The guy goes back to the doctor and the doctor asked him how everything worked out. He says "doc, with all the good they've done me I might as well have shoved t...

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A man goes to the doctor with some stomach issues

After a quick check up the doctor prescribes him with two anal suppositories. The doctor tells the man that he will do the first one, but that the man will have to make other arrangements in four hours for the next. The doctor put his hands on the man shoulders and rammed the pill up him. The man wa...

The Greatest Old Guy Joke of all Time

There was an old guy who took suppositories as a medication. One time he went to a resaurant with his wife, she said,"What is a suppository doing in your ear." The old man says,"Oh! now I know where my hearing aids are!"

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