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Spartans Jokes

After fighting off waves of attacks by the Spartans, Paris went to visit with Helen

But alas, she was not very happy.

“What is wrong, my love?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Come on, my love, I sacrificed so much for you, so you must divulge why you’re not happy.” He pleaded.

“It’s nothing.”

“I’m pleading with you! I will defeat the whole spartan army and Ach...

"Spartans, tonight, we dine in hell!!"

"Jerry, don't scream at the kids like that! If you don't want to come at my mother's dinner, don't"

A Spartan man and an Athenian man are arguing over which city is best

The Spartan man says " I think this should come down to a vote"

To which the Athenian agrees

The Spartan then says "I vote Sparta"

The Athenian says" I vote Athens"

The Spartans wife say "I vote Sparta"

The Athenian Wife says calmly"I don't get to vote"

Why do Spartans hate waking up early?

Cause dawn is tough on grease.

Once again, a unit of Spartans was about to be annihilated in glorious battle, and the iconic "Tonight, we dine in Hell" line was uttered.

There was much rejoicing at this promise of improvement.

A MSU fan, a Notre Dame fan, and a Michigan fan, are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves their team the most.

The MSU fan insists that he is most loyal and then yells, "This is for SPARTANS!" and jumps off the
mountain.

Not to be out done, The Notre Dame fan next professes his love for his team. He screams,"This is for the Irish" and pushes the Michigan fan off the mountain.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If Herodotus was a vlogger

It's ya boi Herodotus back atch ya with another travlog!

So, I was in Delphi, and man, they be real mad with em Spartans.

Not taking sides, just my 2 Drachmae. Maybe my Athenian homies should've toned down their backstabbing a little bit, so that those Spartan hunks didn't have to canc...

A Catholic High School had a legendary American football team

Every year, the team was in the state championship game, and usually won it handily. Every able lad within a few hundred miles wanted to play football for Central Catholic Fighting Knights.

Those who were familiar with the program, knew that the true heart and soul of the Knights football pro...

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