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Say Hello Jokes

My Russian wife wouldn't even teach me how to say hello in her language

She says it's private.

I saw my ex girlfriend at the other end of the museum hall, but I was too self conscious to say hello.

There was too much history between us.

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How do Japanese chihuahuas say hello?

Konnichihuahua

How does a German cowboy say hello?

Audi.

How do noodles say hello in Germany?

Gluten tag

How do you say hello to someone who knows karate?

Hiya!

How do crayons made in Spain say hello?

Crayhola.

How do poets say hello?

Hey, haven’t we metaphor?

How do chinese cats say hello?

Mi Yao
[this is my first post here be nice pls]

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Never say hello to a Brown bear's arse

You'll meet a grizzly end...

How does a cannibal say hello?

He offers you a handshake.

How Does a Deaf Mathematician Say Hello?

With a Sine Wave!

Thought I heard someone say hello in Arabic .

But it was a false Salaam.

How do small kitchen appliances say hello to each other?

They microwave

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Three tampons are walking down the street. One super large, one standard and one ultra slim. Which one stops to say hello first?

None. They're all stuck up cunts

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After his honeymoon in Florida with his new bride, Virginia, Luigi stopped by his old barbershop in Jersey to say hello to his friends.

“Ciao, Luigi. How wassa the trip?” His friend said.

“Everything was perfecto, except for the train down.” Luigi said

“Virginia and I boarda da train at Grand Central Station. Virginia packa a huge picnic basket. But the conductore came, waga his finger and said: ‘no eat in disa car. M...

How do you say hello to to water?

Hi drate!

A wife comes home late one night

She quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband's two. She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can. Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As she enters, she sees her husband the...

How does a Pirate Pimp say Hello?

Yo Ho.

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How do Japanese Gangsters say Hello??

WASABI


(What's up B!)

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Before it starts...

A man came home from work, sat down in his favourite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts"

She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished it, he said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start."

This time s...

Why did Adele cross the road

To say hello from the other side

A little boy's friend tells him:

"If you say to adults 'I know about it all', they'll give you anything."
So of course he goes home and says to his dad: "I know about it all". The dad hands him 100 bucks and tells him "but don't tell mommy".
The kid, stoked, goes to his mom and says: "I know about it all". The mom hands him 2...

A man rushes home late from work, slams the door open and plops himself down on the sofa. He turns on the tv and looks at his wife “quick” he says “get me a beer and some food before it starts!”

The wife gets up slowly looking startled but slightly excited. She wanders into the kitchen and comes back quickly with a beer and some food for her husband.

The man gulps down the beer and looks back to his wife “quick!” He says “get me another beer before it starts!” The man goes back to fl...

My friend just phoned and asked me if I could loan her $500 to help her pay her rent...

My friend just phoned and asked me if I could loan her $500 to help her pay her rent... And you know me always willing to help my friends and family out... I told her..."give me a minute let me check my account and I'll phone u right back." Before I could check my account my friend's mom phones and ...

What's the best way to say hello to a non-binary person?

48 65 6c 6c 6f

How do coeliac intolerance people in Germany say hello to each other?

Gluten-Morgan

Apple is moving its production facilities from China to Thailand.

Say hello to iPad Thai.

Your momma so old…

You should call her and check in. Just say hello. Tell her you love her.

A guy decides to try horseback riding...

... even though he has had no lessons nor prior experience.

He mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace but the guy begins to slide from the saddle.

In terror, he grabs for the horse's mane but can...

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