I sexually identify as a 41 million square mile body of salt water
Im trans-atlantic
Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper water would make them sneeze.
(Roughly translated from a recent issue of *Acadie Nouvelle*)
I have an idea for a sitcom about a salt water fish and fresh water fish that start a family.
It’s called “Brackish”.
The oceans are comprised of minimally-carbonated salt water.
Therefore, the Earth is flat.
Why do fish swim in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
Our HOA voted no to convert our pool to salt water
Unfortunately the cannibal family was unable to muster support.
What kind of ships can't go in salt water?
Snail-boats
What do you call a salt water duck?
A saltine quacker.
Does anyone have any salt water survival tips? I could really use some help.
I'm sort of in a pickle.
YO momma so nasty...
She pours salt water down her pants to keep the crabs fresh.
My company uses salt water to solve any problem.
We are called Saline Solutions.
What's the difference between a person that just won the lottery and a fairy in salt water?
One is tickled pink, the other is a pickled Tink.
There were two avid sailors
who were proud of their well-kept boats (the "Tuning Fork" and the "Robert Frost", respectively). In all ways they were evenly matched as able sailors except when it came to braiding rope. Not that the Tuning fork’s captain’s braids were deficient, but the other had a flair when it came to bra...
Horrible thing happened on the way home
Last night I was driving home and remembered that my remote for the TV had an issue. The batteries were bad and leaked acid on the springs so I always use salt water to clean the connectors and I needed new batteries - so I make a pit stop at 7-11 get the container of salt and a few double A batteri...
A physicist, a chemist, and an economist are stuck on a desert island.
A can of beans washes up on shore, and they begin deliberating how best to open the can. The physicist starts calculating the height and force with which the can must be dropped to break it open, but the other two object as they will then have sand mixed with the beans. Next the chemist begins calcu...
Old pirate & his parrot
There was an ol' pirate that had a parrot, generally the parrot was very quiet very little talking and no squawking. One day the parrot very loudly kept repeating How's your bum? How's your bum? How's your bum? Finally the pirate gets mad and yells at the parrot SHUT UP!!!! The parrot answers so is ...
A biologist, a physicist, and an engineer are on a plane that crashes...
...and luckily they are washed up on a deserted island, along with several crates of canned food. However, no can opener washes up with them, and there is nothing sharp on the island, so the three scientists must figure out how to open the cans.
The biologist sticks the can in the water, say...
A pirate ship is blown apart during a battle with the Navy.
A pirate ship is blown up during a battle with the Navy. The only survivors are an old crusty pirate and a pesky parrot. As they float together on some old timbers the parrot asks, "How's your ass?" The pirate just ignores the parrot. So the parrot asks again, "How's your ass?" Again the pirate...
The Seagull and The Octopus
There once was a seagull with sore feet. He had been perching on a seaside railing all day and was starting to get blisters. He had tried going swimming, but the salt water seemed to irritate them and make them worse. He had tried flying, but he soon got so tired that he had to stop. He was in agony...
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