I sexually identify as a 41 million square mile body of salt water
What do you call a fast salt water fish?
Does anyone have any salt water survival tips? I could really use some help.
I'm sort of in a pickle.
What kind of ships can't go in salt water?
What's the difference between a person that just won the lottery and a fairy in salt water?
One is tickled pink, the other is a pickled Tink.
Why do fish swim in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
The Seagull and The Octopus
There once was a seagull with sore feet. He had been perching on a seaside railing all day and was starting to get blisters. He had tried going swimming, but the salt water seemed to irritate them and make them worse. He had tried flying, but he soon got so tired that he had to stop. He was in agony...
YO momma so nasty...
She pours salt water down her pants to keep the crabs fresh.
My company uses salt water to solve any problem.
We are called Saline Solutions.
on the beach
W.C. Fields was walking on the beach one day when a beautiful girl passed by. Fields tipped his hat and said, "Hello my dear, how's your ass?"
The girl looked at him in disgust and said, "Shut up!"
He said, "Hmmm... mine too. Must be the salt water."
My Alg II told us this one (Part 2)
Boodro and Tibbideux were fishing on a boat when a man passes by with a boat full of fish. They ask him, "How'd you get all those fish?" And the man says "You got to go up the stream to where the salt water turns to fresh water." So they go up the stream for about 30 minutes. Tibbideux asks how they...
Horrible thing happened on the way home
Last night I was driving home and remembered that my remote for the TV had an issue. The batteries were bad and leaked acid on the springs so I always use salt water to clean the connectors and I needed new batteries - so I make a pit stop at 7-11 get the container of salt and a few double A batteri...
A physicist, a chemist, and an economist are stuck on a desert island.
A can of beans washes up on shore, and they begin deliberating how best to open the can. The physicist starts calculating the height and force with which the can must be dropped to break it open, but the other two object as they will then have sand mixed with the beans. Next the chemist begins calcu...
A biologist, a physicist, and an engineer are on a plane that crashes...
...and luckily they are washed up on a deserted island, along with several crates of canned food. However, no can opener washes up with them, and there is nothing sharp on the island, so the three scientists must figure out how to open the cans.
The biologist sticks the can in the water, say...
A pirate ship is blown apart during a battle with the Navy.
A pirate ship is blown up during a battle with the Navy. The only survivors are an old crusty pirate and a pesky parrot. As they float together on some old timbers the parrot asks, "How's your ass?" The pirate just ignores the parrot. So the parrot asks again, "How's your ass?" Again the pirate...
Old pirate & his parrot
There was an ol' pirate that had a parrot, generally the parrot was very quiet very little talking and no squawking. One day the parrot very loudly kept repeating How's your bum? How's your bum? How's your bum? Finally the pirate gets mad and yells at the parrot SHUT UP!!!! The parrot answers so is ...