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Road Sign Jokes

Funny, those road signs: "Caution - Watch for children!"

I mean, how dangerous can a child be?

My local council decided to build road signs saying "Avoid Distractions".

There's been an increase in car accidents ever since.

Did you hear about the the road thief that stole all the road signs?

He really pulled out all the stops.

A gypsy is doing his driving test.

The instructor asks him: What road sign is that?

The gypsy replies: Aluminium

Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution

A man is driving down a highway on a business trip when he sees a sign that says “Sisters Of Mercy: House of Prostitution - 5 Miles”. He blinks, and imagines he read it wrong until he sees another sign saying the same thing, at 2 miles. Now he’s curious. The next sign tells him to turn left, so he...

A cow stumbles into pot field,

The steaks have never been higher.


(Not original from the road sign from somewhere )

Speeding Car

A cop is doing is regular routine, driving on the highway when he spots a car going 95 miles per hours.

He finally catches up with the vehicle and pulls it over, and both vehicles come to a complete stop at the side of the highway. As the cop walks towards the vehicle, on the back seat, he sp...

Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road

... when she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log. "My what big eyes you have, Mr Wolf", says Little Red Riding Hood. The wolf jumps up and runs away further down the road.

Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again. This time he is crouched behind a treestump. "My what big ears ...

How did Helen Keller break her arms?

She tried to read a road sign going 45mph

I knew this guy who was so dumb...

he saw a road sign that said, "Disney Land Left", so he turned around and went home.

Why did the blind driver have no hands?

He was reading road signs at 50 miles per hour

The Compost Heap

I was raised in a fairly hippy-ish town. The kind of place that was always looking to do something ecologically friendly in the days before the internet made it easy to share tips and tricks on how to cut down your carbon footprint.

One of the things they did was expand the recycling collect...

How did Hellen Keller break her arms?

Reading road signs at 70 mph.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man sitting at a bar orders a bottle of whiskey

He then starts taking long sips from the bottle until it's empty. An hour later he decides he's too drunk and he needs to go back home to his wife. He makes an attempt to stand up but fails miserably, throwing himself on the floor.

The bartender helps him back on his chair and tells him to wa...

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