UPJOKE
reposerestfulheadstonereposureroorejuvinationunrestingquiescenceregain energypeaceriprespiterecumbfeel less tiretranquility

Rest In Peace Jokes

Rest in peace, boiling water.

You will be mist.

Rest in Peace

A well known Hollywood actress died in an accident and her numerous friends got together to hire the country's highest paid poet to compose an epitaph for her.

When the stone was laid across the top, it read:

"At last, she sleeps alone."

Rest In Peace, Larry Tesler

r/jokes would be nowhere without you.

An old man was attending his wife's funeral. The preacher walked up to him and said, "May she rest in peace."

The man replied, "I don't know about her, but I certainly will."

A Canadian man loses his wife.

He goes to the stonemason and asks for a tombstone that says "rest in peace." A couple days before the funeral, he comes to check on the stone and sees that it says "Rest in Piece."

"Sorry," he says to the mason, "but I meant 'peace', with an 'a'."

On the eve of the funeral, the maso...

This was my sisters favorite joke to tell in high school. May she Rest In Peace: What’s the difference between a cactus and a teachers lounge?

The teachers lounge has all the pricks on the inside.

Rest in Peace Billy Mays.

He partied like it was $19.95.

Rest in Peace - Ron B. U.C. Berkeley

A man is holding his wife's hand as she lays on her death bed.

"Jerry, I, . . ., I have something to tell you before I pass on."

"No, no, dear. Everything is forgiven now. All is well."

"No, Jerry. I've been carrying this load for years now, and I must tell you. I, . . ., I'v...

Stan Lee, may be rest in peace, will forever be known as the creative genius behind Marvel.

Sadly, all good things come to an end. As his left this universe, and passed on to the next, we have no choice to to acknowledge that he is DCseased.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

2 guys are down to their last 10 bucks....

Its a friday and theyre hungry but wanna get drunk too. So guy1 tells guy2, "Hey i got an idea, lets get a sausage and ill put it in my pants. Then pretend to give me a blowjob after we order our drinks!" So guy 2 agrees and go the first bar. Bartender asks what theyll have and they both respond a ...

A man dies in the widow orders a wreath for the funeral

She opts for simple "Rest in Peace" writing on the ribbon but then after a while she starts thinking that it's too short. So she calls the wreath maker and orders "Please add "I'll see you in Heaven" if there is space left." Happy with herself she hangs up. Then at the funeral she sees the wreath wi...

Did you know there’s more planes in the ocean …

Then submarines in the sky

(i hope they all rest in peace however)

Metal fans don't rest in peace,

they RUST in peace.

A new business is opening and one of the owner’s friends wants to send him flowers for the occasion.

They arrive at the new business site and the owner reads the card: “Rest in Peace.” Understandably the owner is angry and calls the florist to complain.

After he tells the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he is, the florist replies, “Sir, I’m really sorry for the mistake, but rath...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My grandfather's favourite joke

First time posting here, my grandfather's funeral was yesterday, and in honor of him I thought I would share his favourite joke of all time. My grandfather worked in advertisement, and his favourite jokes had to do with bad advertising. His favourite? Women's dresses, half off.

Rest in peace...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day, a father and his daughter are together.

The father is putting the daughter to sleep. After the father leaves, he hears her saying her prayers. He hears her say, '' God bless mommy, daddy, and grandma, rest in peace grandpa. The father hears all of this and barges back into the room. He asks her, '' Why did you say the last part? '' The da...

A wife inscribed on her husband's tombstone...

Rest in Peace honey.
Rest in Peace, till I join you.

The shoe factory burned down today. Sadly, there were no survivors.

Rest In Peace all those poor soles.

A Bill Passed In The Senate...

Rest in peace, Bill.

At the funeral of Jack Sparrow.

Turner: May Jack Sparrow's soul rest in peace.

Mr. Sparrow rises from the coffin,

"It's Captain Jack Sparrow"

And dies again.

My shoe died recently.

May it's sole rest in peace.

Learning English

So a man and his wife decided to speak in English at home to improve their language skills.

Her: Hunney, I'm going to rest a little bit.

Him: Sure hunney, rest in peace.

Unfortunately, Verne Troyer passed away at 49, which is pretty young.

But let’s be honest, he pretty much always had a short life

Edit; we loved ya, rest in peace bud

Two lions spoke at a funeral...

First lion sighed and said: "I'm really sorry about the loss of your kids, bro..."

Second lion nodded and bowed his head: "Yes, may they rest in peace. Sometimes I blame myself, but they were so delicious!!"

Mr Peg, my Digital Photography teacher, just passed away.

Rest in peace Jay.

I started a job today at the local cemetery...

The boss wanted me to start 3 graves for some upcoming burials. I went to the maintenance shed to get the backhoe. I didn't see it inside. I found the head of maintenance. A hippie looking guy straight out of the 60's. Long hair, tie dye shirt, peace symbol necklace, bandanna. The whole nine yards. ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A moth walks in to a podiatrist's office...

A moth walks in to a podiatrist's office. The podiatrist says "What's the problem?"


The moth says "What's the problem? Where do I begin?

I go to work for Gregory Olynovich, and all day long I work. Honestly doc, I don't even know what I'm doing any more. I don't even know if Gre...

A farmer had an argument with his wife

and she brought her mother to live with them. After 3 weeks of nagging, the mother in law went out one morning to the barn to the donkey stall. She was picking up the straw, and saw a spider. She shrieked, and the alarmed donkey kicked her in the head and killed her.

All the farmer's neighbou...

John, the owner of a small company, just moved into a new office.

After settling in, he decides to message his friend. "Jim," he wrote,"I finally moved out of that dingy old office and just moved into a new one."
Happy to hear this news, Jim orders a bouquet of flowers to send to John's new location. The next day, a bouquet of flowers shows up at the office wit...

One night, a boy dreamt that his grandmother was about to die.

When morning came and the boy woke up, he told his father about the dream he had. The father paid no mind to the dream until later that day when, as the clock struck midnight, the father received a call from his own father, informing him of his mother's heart attack and subsequent death.

A mo...

There's this British RAF pilot in WW2, and he's been captured by the Germans....

the Krauts have him tied up and they're interrogating him.

"Tell us about your seekret plans, or vee vill cut off your leg!"

The Pilot, dashing and resolute, refuses, but before they cut off his leg, he asks them to please drop it over England on their next bombing raid, so it can rest...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On a ship

A captain and a rich man were talking in a cabin of a very large yacht.

'I had one of these yachts once,' the rich man told the captain.

'Sold it?' the captain asked.

'No. I wanted to show my parents that I appreciated how they brought me up in life and how they helped me become...

A greedy old miser dies alone. In his will he's divided his fortune between his pastor, his doctor, and his lawyer with one last request...

The old man's will states that he wishes to take his fortune with him. His final request is that these three, the last man on earth he feels he can trust, each bring their allotment of his fortune to his funeral, ten million each, and deposit the money in his coffin and bare witness as it's sealed a...

This was a favorite of my deceased stepfather...

A housewife is living in the inner-city during a crime wave and is concerned for her safety. She phones her husband, a travelling salesman, and lets her know that she's so scared she wants to purchase a guard dog. The husband agrees that it would be a great idea and she makes plans to go to the pe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a farmer who had two sons

tldr :

His wife died as soon as she gave birth to the second son. Because of this, the farmer always blamed his second son for his mother's death. But he did not fail in his responsibilities as a father. The farmer was poor but he worked really hard to get his two sons in grad school. They ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

In a parallel universe the world is ruled by a fascist government.

Every year the Supreme Dictator is entertained on his birthday by way of a grand concert performed by the Great Orchestra.

On the 50th birthday of the Supreme Dictator the Great Orchestra's performance is being guided by a new and young music director by the name of Saba Saging.

The wh...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.