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Call In Sick Jokes

Why did Miss Piggy call in sick to work?

She had a frog in her throat!

Major airlines are cancelling flights as staff call in sick.

If I was in charge, none of their excuses would fly.

I had to call in sick today with eye problems.

I just couldn't see coming in to work.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How does a porn star call in sick?

"Sorry, I can't come tonight."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If you have to work tomorrow, call in sick.

If your boss says "Well you don't sound sick."
Say, "Well I'm fucking my sister; that sound sick enough for ya?"

my husband, who works in a funeral home

Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of severe abdominal pains. We rushed to the emergency room, where they gave him a series of tests to determine the source of the pain.

My husband decided not to have me call in sick for him until we knew what was...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Navy Chief rolls onto base and sees two marines, one is digging a hole and the other marine is filling in a hole behind him.

A Navy Chief rolls onto base and sees two marines, one is digging a hole and the other marine is filling in a hole behind him. He doesn’t think much of it until lunch when he goes for a walk and sees the two still at and a whole line of freshly dug and filled in holes. He walks up to them.

C...

Hack for when you don't what to go to the doctor

She: I have a doctor's appointment today but I really don't want to go ….

He: Just call in sick then.

My friend had an doctor appointment...

One day, my friend had an doctor's appointment and he told me he didn't want to go. He asked me if he could try to avoid it.


I replied: Then call in sick.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man wakes up with a horrible headache

The conscientious man he is, he grabs the phone to call in sick at work.

„Boss, I am sorry I am afraid i can‘t come in to work today. I have this horrible headache.“

„You know, everytime I have a headache my wife gives me a blowjob and it‘s gone. You should really try it.“ Tells him h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My boss pulled up in a Ferrari today.

He told me , if i work really hard , don't call in sick at all , save some money and bust ass all year long , he'll be able to buy the new model next year.

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