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Red Ribbon Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How to cure Snoring (Dog & Husband version)

A couple has a dog who snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles and he will stop snoring.

'Yeah right!" she says.

A few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snori...

Tie a ribbon

A woman is at home one night with just the dog because her husband is out drinking again. But the dog keeps farting, and he's stinking up the house. So she calls up her best friend and asks if she has any ideas about this.

"Tie a ribbon firmly around the dog's genitals," she said. "That sh...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman couldn't stand her snoring dog...

so one day she went to the vet to ask what she could do to stop the snoring. The vet suggested that she tie a ribbon around his balls, and he will stop snoring. He hands her a red ribbon, and she takes the advice. While the dog is sleeping, she ties the ribbon around his balls. Immediately the dog s...

Weather

My wife asked me for the weather to come in 30 minutes.

I asked Officer Rudolph, wearing his medal on a red ribbon.

"Definitely raining." He said.

See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.

Seven wise men, with knowledge so fine, made something special of their design.

The first was a butcher, all full of wit. With some meat and a knife, he made a small slit.

The second, a blacksmith, quite strong and quite bold, hit the slit with a hammer and made a hole.

The third was a tailor, quite tall and quite thin. With a piece of red ribbon, he lined it with...

A farmer had 2 horses, and he wanted a way to know which is which. So he goes to the smartest man in the village.

Smart Man: "measure them by their height. That's how you'll know the difference."

So the farmer measures their height and to his surprise, they are both the exact same height. Not 1 cm more or less. So he goes back to the smart man.

Smart Man: "measure them by their weight. That's how ...

The year 2192

The year is 2192. The British Prime Minister visits Brussels to ask for an extension of the Brexit deadline. He leaves a ceremonial letter. For reasons lost in time, this letter is always unsigned. Ceremonial garb includes a suit that looks like it was made for a someone of an entirely different si...

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