UPJOKE
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the ol' razzle dazzle

Genie: You have 3 wishes.

Me: I have seen this before. Whatever I wish for will come back and bite me in some way.

Genie: I promise that won't happen. I am so sure it won't I will give you infinite wishes if it does.

Me: Okay. I wish for a boomerang with teeth.

Genie: You...

[Long] The Farmers horse

There was a farmer who owned a small ranch with some livestock and two horses, Razzle and Dazzle. One day a traveling salesmen knocks on his door. While waiting for the farmer to answer he notices the horses racing around their pen. After he gives his sales pitch he says to the farmer:
"You know ...

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