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Police Siren Jokes

Women say they like a man who is "funny" and "spontaneous"

But you knock on their bedroom window at midnight wearing a clown costume and suddenly it's all screaming and throwing things and police sirens.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[long] A man is speeding on the highway and he hears the sudden sound of police sirens. He angrily stops his vehicle on the side of the road and rolls down his window.

The officer greets him and asks him for an identification, to which the man has no choice but to reply: “look officer, I immigrated illegally just this week so I don’t own an identification.”

The officer then asks him for his driver’s license, to which the man hastily replies:
“I- I don’t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The pope is driving in a limousine...

He looks at his watch nervously and then at the driver: "Excuse me but could you go a bit faster, I have a meeting with the president and I really don't want to be late."
The driver responds: "With all due respect your hollynes, I can't go faster than the speed limit or I might lose my licence."...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A buddhist goes to a hot dog stand and says...

"Make me one with everything."

When the guy hands him his hot dog, the monk pays and asks for his change.

The vendor replies, "Change comes from within."

Then the monk gets angry and pulls out his gun.

The vendor clamors "Whoa, whoa! What about inner peace?"

And...

Whenever I reach 88 mph in my car, I always make a Back to the Future time traveling sound effect inside my head...

...and that's usually followed by a police siren sound effect outside my car.

Old man driving alone

An old man is driving along the road humming to himself.
Suddenly he hears a police siren and a motorcycle cop pulls him over.
He can't imagine what could be wrong.
"Sir, do you realize that you left your wife behind in the gas station?"
"I did? I am so relieved."
"You're relieved you...

An English man, Irish man and a Scotsman escape from prison.

They have just finished climbing the wall when they hear police sirens so they decide to hide in the back of a nearby R.S.P.C.A van and each climbed into some old cloth sacks they find in there. Ten minuets later a police officer looks into the back of the van and sees the three filled sacks.
He ...

On the run

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead escaped from prison and ran into a nearby barn. They all three jumped into burlap sacks to hide when they heard police sirens in the distance. Soon two officers walked into the barn and immediately spotted the three sacks. One officer approached the first sack and...

Bills

Two thieves break into a bank after a lot of difficulty. Hearing police sirens, they each grab a sack from the vault and run for their lives.

8 months later, after the commotion about the robbery dies down, the thieves meet up casually to talk at a bar about the robbery:

Thief 1: Hey...

A remake of an older joke.

My sadness after her death grew very great. I endured it far longer than most men could, for she was my life, my love, my everything. No amount of counseling could ever erase the pain she had left in my life. So one day I decided to end it all. I tied a noose around my neck, hoping I could see her i...

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