Plan On Jokes - 17 Hilarious Plan On Jokes

How does Donald Trump plan on deporting millions of illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan

I didn't plan on getting a brain transplant...

But then I changed my mind.

Tonight i plan on making love

from 1:59 to 3:02

They say Lizzie Borden didn’t plan on chopping up her parents, and it was a mercy killing.

She was known for her Random Axe of Kindness.

How I plan on never becoming a Grandparent..

I’ll be naming my daughter pregnant so when a guy meets her.

Guy: Hi, I’m Paul.

Her: Hi, I’m pregnant.

Case closed.

I'm an atheist, but I plan on converting to Christianity on my deathbed.

I figure better safe than sorry. I don't want to end up in hell with the Evangelicals.

I plan on living forever.

So far, so good.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I plan on opening a sex robot brothel...

It'll be called "The Uncanny Valley"

How does Elon musk plan on populating mars?

SpaceX

I plan on starting a geek rap band...

I think I'll call it Run-D.L.L.

You have to be born in the 1940's and been a teenager in 1957 in order to get this joke

Its 1957 and Bob goes to pick up his date.
Peggy Sue's Father invites him in.

He asks Bob what they plan on doing.

Bob politely responds that they will probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in.

Peggy Sue's father suggests, "Why don't you kids go out and screw? I h...

A business man sees a fisherman laying down on the shore, looking at the sky

- Hi, why aren't you fishing?
- Well, I caught the fishes we plan on eating
- But if you caught more, you could sell them.
- And then what?
- Then you could buy a motor for the boat to catch even more fish
- And then what?
- Then you can sell more fish, get more boats, and even mor...

if you ever plan on murdering someone, do it in an adult movie theater.

There will be other peoples DNA all over the crime scene, plus no witnesses will come forward to admit they saw you there...

How many NBA finals does Lebron plan on losing?

not 1 not 2 not 3 not 4 not 5 not 6 not 7

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy goes into the US Postal Services to apply for a job.

The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"
He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee."

"OK, have you ever been in the military service?"
"Yes," he says, "I was in Afghanistan for one tour."
The interviewer says, "that will give you 5 extra points toward empl...

Just finished buying the family Christmas tree and as the clerk was tying it down he asked me, "So you plan on putting this up yourself then?"

"No you sicko- I was thinking in front of the window in the den."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Young men of reddit, do you plan on getting married someday? I tell you, marriage is a lot of work, but it's worth it. You will do things you never though yourself capable of...

For instance, someday, you'll fuck a fat woman.

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