Phone Calls Jokes - 16 Hilarious Phone Calls Jokes

Forty years ago, I got a phone call from a solicitor…

Forty years ago, I got a phone call from a solicitor asking to speak to my husband.

I told him my husband wasn't home at the moment.

He called several more times, and again, my husband wasn't home.

Getting tired of his phone calls, I finally said to him to hang on a minute. ...

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Phone calls and blowjobs are the same thing for me.

Im never on the receiving end

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Be careful of strange phone calls.

I just had a random guy phone me asking if I wanted to meet

up with him and compare dick sizes.

Fucking weirdo never showed up.

Why can't you make phone calls on a banana?

They're apple products!

It must be brutal trying to make legitimate phone calls from the headquarters of the Hormel Foods Corporation

Your caller ID would always show up as “Potential SPAM”

I keep getting phone calls from a “Private Number.”

These army guys are really persistent.

George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin make phone calls

George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell.

While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth. Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him tha...

Why did the cancer specialist keep getting phone calls in the middle of the night?

He was an on-call-ogist

My proctogogist won't take my phone calls anymore.

I guess saying "What, no happy ending!" isn't proper exam room etiquette.

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People who take phone calls while dropping a deuce...

...Are real shit-talkers.

Phone calls to God $1,000

Priest takes a trip to the Vatican, as he walks he sees a pedestal with a gold telephone on top with a note "Phone calls to God $1,000". Priest thinks for a few seconds and then moves on. As he moves on he sees another pedestal with a gold telephone with a note "Phone calls to God $1,000", and as he...

What do you call a cow who travels with you and can make phone calls?

A moo-bile phone

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There are two people making phone calls, a prostitute looking to modernize her business and a guy with a very large nose looking for a doctor.

The guy picks up the phone and calls a doctor from the phone book. “Hey do you guys do nose jobs?…No?…Okay.”
He hangs up.
The woman gets a call, she picks up the phone and introduces herself. The caller asks if she does foot jobs. “No that’s disgusting!” She replies. “Don’t ever call here aga...

John and his girlfriend Mary decide to become bank-robbers.

Mary does the actual robbing at gunpoint inside the banks while John waits outside as the getaway driver. They are initially successful with a string of heists that make headlines and they become folk-heroes. Until one day their luck runs out and they get caught.

At trial, the judge condemns ...

Father receives a super high phone bill, but he always makes his phone calls at work...

so he asks his wife about it. She replies: "It's not me, you know I always use the telephone on the grocery store I work at". So he asks his son about it: "It's not me, you know I always use the telephone at university." Then he turns at his daughter: "Not me either, I always use the one at school.....

After extensive investigations and many phone calls, the police found that, despite the fact that I’m black, I’ve got a good job, no criminal record and I own the BMW I was driving.

So they arrested me for wasting police time.

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