I told my dad that I wanted to become a man. So he made me lie down on the ground, then he sprinkled grass and seeds on my pecs.

I said, "Why are you doing this?"
He said, "It will put hares on your chest."

What do you call a dinosaur that never skips chest day?

Tyranno-Sorest Pecs

...I’ll show myself out

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is it called when you compare glutes and chest muscles?

Ass-Pec Ratio

So a head rolls into a bar...

This guy only has a head. No neck, no torso, no limbs.

He gets helped up onto the bar and asks for whiskey on ice, with a bendy straw so he can drink, and the bartender obliges.

He starts talking with the bartender and the other guy at the bar, answering questions about how he lives wi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man on vacation

A man on vacation is jogging down the beach one morning when he sees a woman with no arms and no legs laying on a beach towel. She calls him over and says

"I've never been hugged before, will you hug me?" Feeling sorry for this woman, he picks her up and hugs her tight, before continuing on ...

What does a female filmmaker look for in a guy?

His "ass-pec ratio".

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