Tony Dungy visits Bill Belicheck to try and learn the Patriots secrets.

He asks Bill about how he always wins no mater what is going on.

Bill calls Tom Brady into his office and asks him "who is you father's brother's nephew?"

Brady responds "Me"

Bill turns to Tony and says "see you, need smart players"

The next day at practice Tony calls ove...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the difference between the New England Patriots, Donald Trump, and a prostitute?

Someone likes the prostitute!

How many Patriots fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They just talk about how good the old one was.

They're only called patriots if they come from the Pat region in France

otherwise, they are just sparkling riots

The Patriots aren't going to the Super Bowl this year

I'm deflated.

I went to a Bengals game last year when they were playing the Patriots. The stadium wasn’t completely empty, as a matter of fact I was sitting beside a man with a German Shepard.

This seemed odd, but the dog was intensely watching the game. In the fourth quarter the Bengals were surely losing, the dog started to tear up. Nearing the end of the game the dog was crying and whimpering. When the game was over (34-13 for the Pats) the dog started openly and inconsolably weepin...

Why do Patriots fans make the best spouses?

Because they don't mind if you cheat.

What does patriots stand for


The Chiefs’ defense isn’t doing well against the Patriots’ offense...

Reminds me of colonial times.

I'm relieved the Patriots lost...

No patriot I know would ever beat an eagle.

What do Patriots fans and horse flies have in common?

They’re both annoying.

Was nice to see the Rams and Patriots

make it to the Maroon 5 concert last night

The Patriots had to re-sod their field.

Even the grass wont root for them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Patriots owner was picked up for soliciting a prostitute.

He told the cops he didn’t think getting his balls deflated was a big deal.

Why have the Patriots won so many Super Bowls?

Because the owner really likes a happy ending.

New England Patriots’ Robert Craft is charged with soliciting prostitution.

He just wanted to show the masseuse where he wears his 6th super bowl ring.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New England Patriots gates....

When they filmed the other teams practicing it was called "Spygate"

When Brady used deflated balls it was called "Deflategate"

Now that Bob Kraft is in trouble for visiting a full service massage parlor, would that be called, "Tailgate"?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Patriots owner Robert Kraft charged with solicitation of prostitution

‪Robert Kraft ought to open his own chain of rub-n-tug parlors called Kraft’s Singles. “Your balls deflated or your money back!”‬

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the official electro-pop band of the New England Patriots?


What is the official snack food of the Boston Red Sox and New England Patriots?


What do the Patriots and Measles have in common?

They both got to go to Disneyland, because some idiot decided to pass on something.

Super Bowl Halftime

At halftime it's Maroon 5 Patriots 3 Rams 0

What's the difference between patriots, eagles, and Cheerios?

Cheerios belong in a Bowl.

The Patriots can still win...

By Electoral College votes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Patriots are like a giant dick.

Everyone that tries to take them on, ends up choking.

Did you hear they asked Aaron Hernandez if he wanted to watch the Patriots visit to The White House on the rec room TV?

He said, "No thanks I'll just hang in my cell"

That Patriots player that just got tackled in the crotch....

Is he their new leading sacker?

The Patriots

The pats shoulda subbed Bush in, he got more yards on that wheelchair than Blount did all game. #riseup

The Patriots are true gentlemen.

They let the Falcons finish their game before they started theirs.

Patriots TE Rob Gronkowski had his house broken into according to police report.

The investigator on the case told the media that he must have forgotten his Rob Gronkhousekey.

How will Tom Brady feel if the Patriots lose?


Stop hating on the Patriots!

There are kids that are young enough that haven't seen their last superbowl victory!

BREAKING NEWS: Patriots admit Tim Tebow hired by mistake.

After tight end Aaron Hernandez request for white Bronco.

New England Patriots to bring OJ Simpson on staff...

In an interview, Simpson stated he got the job after responding to a Craigslist ad. He added, "They were looking for a defensive coordinator, and I just though to myself... nobody has more success at building a strong defense than I do."

Trump's battle against ISIS is the grand strategy equivalent of a Patriots-Cowboys game.

A lot of people you talk to somehow want both to lose.

Tom Brady died

When he got to Heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded Patriots flag in the window.

"This house is yours for eternity, Tom", said God. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here."

Tom felt special and walked up to his house. On ...

New England Patriots list Aaron Hernandez out for week 1.


It's cool how today everyone is applauding patriots for standing up for human rights...

...and by next Sunday everyone will be back to hating the Patriots again

What's the best part about dating a Patriots fan?

They don't care if you cheat.

Why was the bed sheet a Patriots fan?

It spent a lot of time hanging around Aaron Hernandez

I don't really care for the New England Patriots, but

Lance Armstrong used a deflated ball for years and no one said anything.

What do you call a group of men who love their country and also love Bukake parties?


The weather in New England meant they had to delay the victory parade for the Patriots.

They must feel really deflated.

If you could choose one NFL team to not come back after the Corona Virus, which one would you choose?

And why did you choose the Patriots?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Robert Kraft facing charges of soliciting a prostitute just means...

That once again the Patriots are tied to a scandal involving deflated balls.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.