Man the graveyard looks overcrowded,

people are dying to get in!

Heaven was becoming overcrowded to the point where Saint Peter asked if he could only let people in who had a really bad day before he died.

Once God approved, Peter went back to the pearly gates and saw a line. Excited about the new order he went to the first person and said, “tell me about the day you died.”

The first person said, “it was horrible, I could have sworn my wife was cheating on me so I came home from work early to c...

What does this joke and a overcrowded prom have in common?

One really bad punch line.

Three dead improv actors are told that only those who died a horrible death are allowed to enter Heaven due to overcrowding

So, the first thinks for a second and then explains to St. Peter that he got home and found his wife naked in bed in the middle of day. Suspecting adultery, he had searched their 10th floor apartment until he finally found a man hanging from the balcony by his finger nails.

Overcome with jeal...

I was about to make a joke about an overcrowded cemetery...

But there was no plot.

Overcrowded church

The two thousand member Baptist church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The preacher was ready to start the sermon when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.

One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while th...

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Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree.

Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby. "Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the fact that Heaven is now overcrowded, St. Peter has agreed to limit the number of people entering Heaven. ...

Cemeteries are like very expensive exclusive clubs

They are overcrowded and people are dying to get in

The psychiatric ward is overcrowding.

So the psychiatrist decided to have a test to see which patient is cured.

He drew a door on the wall and straight away, all the patients started charging at the door, scratching desperately, bloody nosed and torn nails, except one fellow sitting placcidly on his bed.

Feeling very hop...

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Overcrowding in Heaven...

So it got quite crowded in heaven, so it was decided only to only accept people who had had a really bad day on the day that they died.


Three people are standing in line waiting to enter Heaven.


St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me abou...

A teenager asks his crush out to prom

She agrees, but she has three stipulations:

First, he has to get himself a tailor-made suit.

Second, he needs to pick her up in a limousine.

Third, she wants a large bouquet of roses waiting for her in said limousine.



Determined, the teenager starts with the fi...

So an American WWII soldier finally takes a break from the frontlines...

So an American WWII soldier finally takes a break from the frontlines and is on a train to London, where he will tour for the next week or so.
He boards a train and notices that there are no empty seats, as it is overcrowded, and begins to search for an empty seat. He walks to one end of the trai...

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St.peter was standing at his podium next to the gates of heaven...

He was flipping through the pages of a magazine, bored, when God appeared in a flash of light. "Peter", he said. "Heaven has become a bit overcrowded. I'm afraid we're going to have to make some changes to policy. From now on, when people approach the gates, ask them what kind of day they had. Only ...

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Three men arrive in heaven at the same time. (NSFW)

Saint peter tells the three men that heaven is pretty crowded and they’re enforcing a new policy. Whichever of them has the most interesting death story will be allowed into heaven and the others will be sent to hell to prevent overcrowding.

Saint peter asks the first man how he died.
...

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Three men stand at the Pearly Gates

Saint Peter explains to them that unfortunately Heaven is rather overcrowded at the moment, so they're only letting in people with the most horrific deaths. One by one he asks them each how they perished.

The first man: I live on the 6th floor of an apartment building in Manhattan, and for s...

Hillbilly tries to get into Heaven

Bubba Buford Cletus Hogg died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gates, Saint Peter told him that, because of severe overcrowding, all prospective heavenly souls had to pass an intelligence test to gain admittance. “Are you ready?” St. Peter asked?

Bubba Buford Cletus Hogg shrugge...

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Three men were patiently waiting in line to get into heaven.

When they finally got to Saint Peter, the angel said to them: "We're only admitting one out of every three souls right now due to overcrowding. Whoever has the most tragic death of you three will be getting in today."

Saint Peter turns to the first man and asks him how he got here.
The man...

A cemetery superintendent was hoping to approve newly donated lands for internment

The Holy Cross Cemetery had received a surprise donation that would double the real estate of their current holdings, which were already overcrowded.

The lead undertaker, Arthur Falconer, was tasked by the superintendent with surveying the new land to plan how to layout the new headstones....

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A scientist, mathematician, and logician are in a car.

A scientist, mathematician, and logician are in the car. They crash and die. The three men appear in heaven on front of St. Peter and Satan. "Gentlemen," Satan began, "Now that Heaven is overcrowded, St. Peter has allowed to limit the amount of people entering. You may ask me a question; if I answer...

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three men go to heaven

Three men died and went to heaven, one was a philosopher, one was a mathematician, and one was a common idiot. Well due to overcrowding in heaven, the devil and St.Paul decided that to get into heaven you would have to pass a test. The three men arrive at the pearly gates and St.Paul says "Alright, ...

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar...

...which quickly becomes overcrowded. The bartender trying to take jocular orders for one beer than half a beer than a quarter of a beer and so on and so forth is crushed to death as are all the other patrons. And the mathematicians themselves, of course. Still they walk in. Somehow they force thems...

The Island of Trid

Once upon a time, in the middle of the ocean, there was the Island of Trid.

Most of the Island of Trid was covered by a large mountain. On this mountain lived a Giant. The Giant did not allow Trids on his mountain. If a Trid dared to climb onto the mountain, the Giant would pick them up and k...

In hopes to try to get some free advertising a Department store holds an event for Single ladies that want to meet that "it" guy

On the main floor 1000's of ladies stand in line for their chance to meet single guys, the atmosphere is electric! Groups of ladies stand in line some laughing giddily amongst themselves with an excited look on their face. Peggy sue holds a small raffle ticket in hand that reads she is contestant 70...

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The first Wednesday of every month God and St. Peter meet to discuss the operations and logistics of Heaven...

...and, as usual, everything is great and fine; but they both notice that Heaven is starting to get a tad overcrowded. So, they both agree that from now on, not only do you have to be a good person when you die, you must also have had a bad day the day you died.

The next day, St. Peter takes...

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Sex Frogs

A miserably married man hates his life. His wife is a bitch, so everyday after work he's only home for a half hour before he takes off to the same bar to escape for a while. He's a regular at said bar. The people there are friendly and understand where he is in his life right now.

Well, one n...

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