I married a nymphomaniac. Now after 5 years of marriage, the nympho is gone.

And I'm left with the maniac.

What's the difference between a wife, a nymphomaniac, and a hooker?

The nympho says, "You're done already?" The hooker says, "Are you done yet?" And the wife says, "Beige, I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."

What do you call a nympho mechanic with a choking fetish?

A Vice Grip

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Nymphomaniac Convention

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation he blur...

Nympho in the car

A man runs into his buddy at the bar and says to him,

"You wouldn't believe it, but I've got a nympho sitting in my car in the parking lot. But, she's completely wrecked me and I need a break, can't you go and keep her busy for awhile? The car's interior lights are broken, so she won't even ...

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I recently traveled through time to hook-up with Queen Victoria, the famous nympho-queen of England in the late 1800's.

I was stunned to find out that she wanted me adorned in the latest fashions before we consummated our tri-millenium tryst. She made me wait until I grew large mutton-chop side-burns and a moustache. It took like three weeks. Meanwhile, she had a high fastening and tight fitting frock coat cut to ...

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Who do you call for questions about sex addiction?

Nympho-mation

Did you hear the one about the nympho who went fishing with 5 guys?

She came home with a red snapper.

My computer is a nympho at night

Because any little touch turns it on

Did you hear about the nympho waitress?

She was sick of getting just the tip

Every guy likes to think he's marrying a nymphomaniac..

Then after the honeymoon, the nympho leaves and the maniac stays.

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A businessman is going out of town for 3 weeks...

His wife is a total nympho and he knows that she will never be able to remain faithful for that long. In an attempt to quell her sexual appetite, he goes to a sex shop on the outskirts of town. He spends several minutes pouring over dozens of dildos, dongs, vibrators, and other toys. However, he kno...

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man goes to his doctor...

man goes to his doctor and begins to explain

"Doctor, I have a problem. My wife is a nymphomaniac and we have to have sex at least twice before she'll let me go to work. My secretary is also a nympho, and we usually have sex late morning and mid afternoon in the stationery cupboard. Sometimes...

Every married man thinks hes married a nymphomaniac before he was married

Then after a few years the nympho disappears and just leaves the maniac

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The nymphomaniac

The nymphomaniac said to her friend "I've got an odd problem -- every time I sneeze, I have a incredible orgasm."


Her friend asks "What are you taking for it?"


"Sniffing pepper" The Nympho replies

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A man goes to the doctor

...he says, "Doctor, my secretary loves to give head. First thing when I get to work in the morning, she sucks me off. She does it again before I leave for lunch, and once more before I go home in the evening."

The doctor nods and says, "Okay, but what's the problem?"

The man continues...

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Voodostick

Don't know if you guys have heard this one but here goes:

Once upon a time there was a witch who was quite the nympho. All waking moment was spent in all manners of sexual indulgence. Her favourite was to play with toys of all kinds.

Then one day she simply grew tired of them all. ...

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