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Neymar Jokes

What's Neymar favorite song?

Never Gonna Give You Up (1987) - Rick Astley (RickRoll)
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Neymar is going to participate in the 2020 Olympics

He’s Brazil’s next star in the Diving competition.

How does Neymar laugh?

ROFL
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What's Neymar's favorite hobby?

Recreational diving.
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Now Neymar can go home and work at Walmart...

Help them roll back their prices!
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I don’t care what anyone says about Neymar faking hurt

he’s still my roll model!
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Why is Neymar so popular with women?

As soon as he's anywhere near the box he'll go down.
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If you have a crush on Neymar, just ask him out.

He'll fall for you easily.
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Brazil is playing tomorrow and I'm betting...

...that Neymar is ready to roll.
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Neymar was found at a Celine Dion concert, screaming from pain and rolling around.

He was touched by the music.
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Neymar, the Brazilian football player, had his first parenting lesson with his new son this morning.

"Right," said the midwife, "what should you do if he starts crying and having a tantrum?"
"Show him a yellow card and tell him to get up off the f*****g floor," replied the baby....
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Which falls faster, a ball of wool or a ball of steel?

Neymar
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Brazil have sent star player Neymar to Thailand to help rescue the young footballers in the cave

...they heard they needed someone to teach them how to dive
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The pain of PSG

After a tragic and devastating loss in the UCL final,the players and staff return to their hotel with heavy hearts and minds.While traveling back to the stay on the bus,even finishing check-in,none of them have the
intention to speak a word.

But then the hotel goes into a blackout;an...
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"The 12 boys stranded in a flooded cave system in Thailand have started diving lessons in the latest step in efforts to bring them out alive."

I think they've hired Neymar.
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How do you say dive in Portuguese?

Neymar
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Scientists need to stop surveying the deepest parts of the ocean with their high-tech equipment

They should send Neymar Jr. instead because he is the greatest diver in the world.
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New sequel to “Bend It Like Beckham” announced.

It’s called “Fake It Like Neymar”
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