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Neymar Jokes

What's Neymar favorite song?

Never Gonna Give You Up (1987) - Rick Astley (RickRoll)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Neymar is going to participate in the 2020 Olympics

He’s Brazil’s next star in the Diving competition.

How does Neymar laugh?

ROFL

What's Neymar's favorite hobby?

Recreational diving.

Now Neymar can go home and work at Walmart...

Help them roll back their prices!

I don’t care what anyone says about Neymar faking hurt

he’s still my roll model!

Why is Neymar so popular with women?

As soon as he's anywhere near the box he'll go down.

If you have a crush on Neymar, just ask him out.

He'll fall for you easily.

Brazil is playing tomorrow and I'm betting...

...that Neymar is ready to roll.

Which falls faster, a ball of wool or a ball of steel?

Neymar

Neymar was found at a Celine Dion concert, screaming from pain and rolling around.

He was touched by the music.

Neymar, the Brazilian football player, had his first parenting lesson with his new son this morning.

"Right," said the midwife, "what should you do if he starts crying and having a tantrum?"
"Show him a yellow card and tell him to get up off the f*****g floor," replied the baby....

Brazil have sent star player Neymar to Thailand to help rescue the young footballers in the cave

...they heard they needed someone to teach them how to dive

The pain of PSG

After a tragic and devastating loss in the UCL final,the players and staff return to their hotel with heavy hearts and minds.While traveling back to the stay on the bus,even finishing check-in,none of them have the
intention to speak a word.

But then the hotel goes into a blackout;an...

"The 12 boys stranded in a flooded cave system in Thailand have started diving lessons in the latest step in efforts to bring them out alive."

I think they've hired Neymar.

How do you say dive in Portuguese?

Neymar

Scientists need to stop surveying the deepest parts of the ocean with their high-tech equipment

They should send Neymar Jr. instead because he is the greatest diver in the world.

New sequel to “Bend It Like Beckham” announced.

It’s called “Fake It Like Neymar”

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