The Negotiator

Cop: you're going to prison for forgery
Me: *slides him a 37 dollar bill* what about now

Why are spelunkers horrible negotiators?

Because they love to cave.

ahhh, the negotiator

usa: knock knock


Iran: who's there


usa: door mom


Iran: door mom who


usa: I've come to bargain.

My father is a Brexit negotiator.

As was his father before him.

Tereasa May, the kind of negotiator......

To walk into DFS and walk out with a full price sofa.

Why couldn't the communist negotiator save the hostages?

Well, to start, he was Russian through things where he should've been Stalin for time, and his team wasn't exactly Lenin him any support. I guess you could say it was Marx'd for failure from the start.

Just another round of Union negotiations . .

Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing their contract’s sick-leave provisions.

One morning at the bargaining table, the company’s chief negotiator held aloft the morning edition of the newspaper, “T...

The Dog Fight

The Israeli Dog vs. The Arab Dog

  
The Israelis and Arabs realized that, if they continued fighting, they would someday end up destroying the whole world. So they decided to settle their dispute with an ancient practice: a duel of two, like David and Goliath. This "duel" would be a dog fi...

A man travelled into the future.

He didn't know how far he travelled and wondered when he was. He asked a man what year it was but he replied "i'm busy, i'm late for work!"

The time traveller got curious about his occupation and asked him.

The man replied "I'm in the family trade, like my father and grandfather before...

The year 2192

The year is 2192. The British Prime Minister visits Brussels to ask for an extension of the Brexit deadline. He leaves a ceremonial letter. For reasons lost in time, this letter is always unsigned. Ceremonial garb includes a suit that looks like it was made for a someone of an entirely different si...

"I don't know who you are, but I will find you, and I will kill you."

And that was how I lost my job as a hostage negotiator on the first day.

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