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Mitch Mcconnell Jokes

What is Mitch McConnell's favorite movie?

Frozen.

News reports today that Senate GOP leader Mitch McConnell hospitalized after fall.

He finally brought a motion to the floor.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ray Bradbury wrote a book about Mitch McConnell having sex...

"Something Wicked This Way Comes".

Mitch McConnell goes to the doctor....

Mitch McConnell goes to the doctor for a regular checkup. The doctor checks his heart. Then he checks his breathing, his eyes and ears. He does the works. After finishing checking him up and just before sending him out the door McConnell asks.

McConnell: “Hey doc I’d like to donate my body to...

Why doesn’t Senator Mitch McConnell wear a helmet when he rides his motorcycle?

‘Cause he is naturally triple chin strapped.

They say Mitch McConnell is spineless. I disagree.

Snakes definitely have spines.

By my estimation, Mitch McConnell's true age is...

...350 turtle years.

The president is walking down a narrow hallway

Mitch McConnell was walking down the hallway in the same direction but, being half-tortoise, was moving far slower.

Trump pushes past him, shouting, "Get outta my way!"

McConnell says, "Pardon me, Mr. President."

Trump stops and turns around. "I didn't know you worked on my cam...

The comments about Mitch McConnell looking like a turtle without a shell are particularly apt...

since he's clearly missing his spine.

there are no red states or blue states in america.

they're all like mitch mcconnell's hands

some shade of purple.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The ship stuck in the Suez should be named in honor of Mitch McConnell.

It's big, full of crap, and obstructing everything in its path.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does my butthole have in common with Mitch McConnell?

They both got fucked last night.

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