Why does a giraffe have a long neck?

So it can reach it's head.

A long-neck giraffe is eating with a rabbit in the forest

... and then the giraffe brags, "Bet you are really envious of my long neck. When I'm eating, delicious food usually lingers in my throat and oh my, the taste, the scent, that feels really good!"

The rabbit swallows a mouthful real fast and then asks,

"Have you ever puked?"

I tried to phone the spiritual leader of Tibet once, but was sent a big goat with a long neck instead.

Turns out I had phoned Dial-a-Llama.

Did you know why giraffes have such a long neck?

Because their heads are so high up.

A great big bird with a long neck strapped me into a chair and put a gun to my head.

I guess you could say I was held ostrich.

What do you call a blonde actor with a long neck?

Charlize Heron

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A Man, A Woman, A Hobby!

A man has been alone on a deserted island for ten years. One day a beautiful woman in SCUBA gear swims up on shore.

"Oh, thank God! I've been alone here for so long!"

She unzips the side of her wet suit, revealing a shapely arm, and says, "Then, you've probably not had one of these ....

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TIL Giraffe penises are 40in. long

Which explains their long necks

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Bubba was sitting on his porch with his buddies...

Joe Bob and Billy Ray, drinking Alone Star long necks discussing their wives' intelligence.

Joe Bob says, "My wife is so dumb she bought a Hoover vacuum cleaner and we don't even have electricity."

After a good laugh, Billy Ray says, "My wife is so dumb she bought a washing machine and...

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A lion walks up to a zebra

Lion’s walking in the woods and comes up to a zebra and the lion says, “you know something zebra? You are a ridiculous looking animal. You’re half white. Half black. Half horse. Half donkey. Look at me. I’m rough. I’m tough. I’m the king of the jungle.”
Zebra just shrugs and moves on.
Lion com...

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The bird who sought a purpose

Apologies if a joke like this was already submitted, I just discovered this wonderful subreddit and I'd like to chip in :)

A bird had long traveled the country side. He was never content with his meager life, and sought a purpose. One day, the bird came upon quite a sight! A massive clearing ...

The Haircut!

Female version:

First Woman: Oh, you got a haircut! That's so cute!

Second Woman: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy-looking?

First Woman: Oh Goodness, no! No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, b...

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