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Lie To Me Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day, Billy's teacher asked him, " I heard your mom had a baby. What did she have?"

Billy paused and thought for a moment and said, "I think she had a bicycle."

"Now Billy, you know that your mom didn't have a bicycle. What did she have?"

"Maybe it was a tricycle."

"Billy, don't stand there and lie to me. We're going to the principal's office right now!"
...

I hate it when people lie to me...

Like one time I broke up with a girl who told me she had a bunch of Abandonment issues. I looked it up online and it's not even a real magazine.

So I just up and packed my things and left in the middle of the night.

Hear about the girl who sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Are you gonna lie to me!?"

Pinocchio said, "Yes... no... yes... no... yes... no...!"

Jack, a renown atheist, dies...

... and to his utter surprise ends up in hell where he's greeted by Satan himself.

Completely shocked he talks to the devil and says: "Welp, I've been wrong all my life and I guess I'm now to pay the price for my lack of faith"

Satan laughs and replies: "Awh it's not so bad down here, ...

A man got arrested for having drugs in his pocket.

"Officer," he said, "I can explain."

-How? -the officer replied.

"Every time I throw those drugs in the toilet, they magicaly reappear in my pocket."

-Don't lie to me. -says the officer.

"Let me show you then."

So the officer allows him to show it. A man takes out ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Lie detector

Little Johnny's dad buys a lie detector that slaps you when you lie because little Johnny has been lying to him lately. When his detector arrives he's gets excited and wants to try it out. Little Johnny is supposed to be in his room doing his homework. So Johnny's dad takes the detector and walks in...

Why did Pinocchio and Cinderella get fired from Disney?

Cinderella was caught sitting on Pinocchio’s face yelling “lie to me!”

Before and after marriage

**Before**

\- I have waited this day so long!

· Will you leave me?

\- Never!

· Do you love me?

\- Of course, yes!

· Will you ever lie to me?

\- Never!

· Will you kiss me?

\- Whenever I can!

· Will you hurt me?

\- No fool!...

Why did Snow White get kicked out of Disneyland?

She sat on Pinocchio's nose and screamed, " Lie to me! Lie to Me!"

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