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Laid Back Jokes

I wish I was more laid back....

But, I'm not that way inclined.

My girlfriend left me because I'm too laid back.

Well, I think she left me. Haven't seen her in like a month.

Who is the most laid back Norse God?

Loki

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I laid back last night and admired the sky above me, taking in the beauty of the universe when it hit me...

Where the fuck is my roof?

Oliver has been living the dream

Two old friends caught up for lunch. Jake and Oliver hadn't seen each other for over twenty years. "How have you been?" Oliver asked.
"I've been good" Jake said, ordering from the menu. "I'm married with two great kids. Work is a bit dull but it pays the bills. How about you, how have you been...

The CEO of a reclining chair company was fired today...

He was just too laid back.

I had a dream I smoked weed

It was laid back

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So very tasteful!

A high school senior needed a prom dress, so she asked her father to buy it for her.

"Sure," he said, "so long as you give me a blowjob."

"How can you ask me to do that?" she said with disgust. "I'm your daughter!"

"Grow up!" her dad replied. "Nothing's free these days. If yo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Chicken and an egg

A chicken and an egg are laying in bed.
The chicken is laid back with his wings behind his head, smoking a cigarette and staring at the ceiling with a shit eating grin on his face. The egg is laying on its side facing away from the chicken.
The egg rolls over and looks at him with a disguste...

A naked man is walking through the streets in the middle of the night with nothing but cowboy boots on...

The local sheriff pulls up in his cop car.

‘’Sir, what are you doing?!’’ The cop says

‘’Well officer’’ replies the man ‘I met this sweet old lady at the bar earlier and she bought be a drink, we talked for a little bit, she told me to order another drink on her tab, so I did, she star...

Dying Wish

A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked "Give it to me straight, doc. How long have I got?" The physician replied that he doubted that his patient would survive the night. The man then said "Call for my lawyer."

When his lawyer arrived, the man asked for his physic...

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