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Genghis Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Genghis Khan and his soldiers attacked a tiny village of their enemy country and took all the men and women as prisoners..

Later in the evening,after being intoxicated,the sadistic Genghis decides to play a game..

He asks all the men from the village to stand in a line and strip down their pants..

He then instructed one of the wives of the men to be blindfolded and she should recognize her husband after ex...

One day an old Ukrainian man found an antique lamp

He starts it to polish it off and 'Poof', a genie appears in a cloud of smoke.

"Hoho, Mortal!" says the genie, stretching and yawning, "For releasing me I will grant you three wishes."

The old man thinks for a moment, and says, "I want Genghis Khan resurrected. I want him to re-...

I went to a museum and saw a statue of Genghis Khan holding a spear.

I came back the following week and I saw the same statue, but the spear had gone.

I thought maybe someone had gotten hurt on it and the spear was taken down, but honestly I don't know.

It's just one of my wild Khan's-spear-I-see theories.

Why did Genghis Khan have such the great legs?

He always completed his steppe goal

Why did Genghis Khan conquer so much?

Because he was Genghis Khan, not Genghis Khannot.

Apparently, all the tents from the Game of Thrones sets are being redecorated for use in a new mini-series on Genghis Khan.

I am not sure why anyone is surprised about the recycled Khan tent.

Why didn't Genghis Khan's army move when he said "Charge"?

Because none of them understand English.

Genghis Khan

If Genghis Khan got a divorce, could he be considered songle and ready to Mongol?

What did the Chinese say to Genghis Khan before he launched his invasion?

"What are you doing, steppe bro!?"

What's the difference between Julius Caesar and Genghis Khan?

Caesar: "I came, I saw, I conquered."

Khan: "I conquered, I saw, I came."

Genghis Khan stumbles across a great palace in Northern China

It was a magnificent golden palace, with beautiful ornaments covering every surface as it towered over the surrounding landscape with its size. The steps leading up to the front entrance were crafted from the finest marble, the pillars holding up the ceiling sculpted with the rarest jade. It was tru...

No believes me but I saw Genghis Kahn holding a spear running around town last night.

They say is just another one of my Kahn spear I see theories.

Genghis Khan was vicious from an early age.

I remember when he took his first steppe.

Did you know there are tents surviving that Genghis Khan used to sleep in? I just scored one on eBay!

Thought you would appreciate my original Kahn tent.

How did Genghis Khan conquer Mongolia?

One steppe at a time.

What do you call a feud between two of Genghis Khan’s generals?

Mongolian beef

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What was wrong with Genghis Khan's new suit?

There was a chink in his armor.

If I was Genghis Khan's personal advisor

Every time he had a moment of self doubt, I'd remind him he is Genghis Khan, not Genghis Khan't.

What was Genghis Khan’s failure of a brother named?

Genghis Khan’t

What did Genghis Khan's mother tell him after he destroyed Xi Xia?

Just because you Genghis Khan, doesn't mean you Genghis should.

A man in Kyiv finds a lamp...

So, a gentleman in Kyiv found an old lamp. It had some tarnish on it, so after grabbing the brass polish and a rag, he started to polish it.


POOF! Out popped a genie!


"Master, you have freed me from the lamp! In gratitude, I shall grant you three wishes! (And no wishing for...

As a lover of history, I always wondered how Genghis Khan would seek shelter whilst traversing various regions of the vast Mongol empire

Then it struck me. Finally! A regional Khan tent.

Genghis Khan once had the hands of an entire village of superb bowmen maimed so their skills could never be used against him. Similarly, he crippled a conquered town of excellent sprinters

For the town, it was a crushing de feet

Can a Mongolian make you laugh?

Genghis Kahn.

(No idea if this is an old joke or not. I told it in a dream I had last night so I'm claiming as original).

A man has a booth at a fair with a talking cat...

A woman walks up and asks, "Can your cat really talk?"

The man turns to the cat and asks, "Which leader is attributed to the most deaths in human history?"

The cat says, "Mao."

The woman, who is annoyed by this ruse, walks away.

The cat turns to the man and asks, "Should...

Did you know 1 in 200 men are directly descended from the leader of the Mongol Empire?

I was shocked too, but it made a lot more sense once I realized that back then there were no Genghis condoms.

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