UPJOKE
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I poured my root beer into a square glass...

now I just have beer

[](http://i.imgur.com/FVEqK.jpg)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I bought a Ouija board recently from a strange old man...

I got it home, laid out the pieces and before I could even ask it a question the planchette started to move around, it eventually spelt

I'VE GOT A MESSAGE TO YOU


'What is your message?' I asked.

YOU SHOULD BE DANCING

Fear started flushing over me, 'Why s...

Liam Neeson struggles with being unappreciated after saving his family.

Taken 4: Granted

I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you how you need to be "saved" or you'll "burn."

Stupid firemen

[I originally saw this joke on a friend's facebook picture he shared](http://i.imgur.com/6Q1KD6K.jpg) but others have pointed me to:
[OP](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/3m4zpu/i_hate_those_people_who_knock_on_your_door_and/)
[OP2](https://www.reddit.com/r/Christi...

My mother handed me $20

"Take your brother to see a movie for his birthday. Keep him out until 2:00 while your father and I set up his surprise party."


That was the day I realized my brother was the favourite twin.

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