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Jovi Jokes

Did you guys know that Dr. Schrodinger was a Bon Jovi fan?

His favorite song was "Wanted Dead and Alive"

What's the difference between Def Leppard and Bon Jovi?

An arm

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I ordered a Bon Jovi album to give to my father for Christmas.

It still hasn’t arrived. When I ring customer service the lady on the phone keeps telling me “it’s halfway there”.

What did Jon Bon Jovi do when his swimwear froze?

He made it icewear.

Just bought a sat nav from Jon Bon Jovi

Yeah, decent condition, good price and always let's you know when your half way there......

What do geologists and Bon Jovi have in common?

They're both into rock.

What do the Apostle Paul, Bon Jovi and Manfred Mann's Earth Band all have in common?

They were all "blinded by the light"

Why is Bon Jovi's bed always messy?

Because he doesn't think it matters if you make it or not.

Jon Bon Jovi was inducted into the Rock hall of fame

I asked him, "aren't you disappointed and ashamed you aren't in the more prestigious Rock & ***Roll*** hall of fame?"



He said "Woah, we're halfway there".

Did you hear that Bon Jovi got food poisoning after eating that deer?

I guess you could say he had some “Bad Venison”

My wife and I are making some artwork in the name of our favourite Bon Jovi song. So far we have the words "Livin' on".

We're half way there.

Muslim Band

I went to see a Muslim Tribute band last night at a Mosque.

They were called "Bomb Jovi" and I thought they were brilliant.

They performed songs like:
"Losing my Head over You",
"Rocket Launcher Man",
"You're Six, you're Beautiful, and you're Mine".

Their la...

Axl Rose, Bon Jovi, and Stevie Wonder are invited to an exclusive party for musicians. The bartenders have been said to be an “exciting surprise”.

So Axl, Bon and Stevie visit out of curiosity. They sit at the bar and grab the bartender’s attentions. They swing by, and reveal themselves as the members of Survivor: Dave Bickler, Jim Peterik, and Frankie Sullivan. Axl, Bon, and Stevie groan as they expected someone with more credentials.

...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A redhead walks into a tattoo show wearing a leather miniskirt and no panties and sits down in the tattoo chair and says, "I want a tattoo of Bon Jovi on the inside of one thigh and Richie Sambora on the other."

Tattoo artist asks, " What on earth for?"
Woman says, "So when I masturbate I can imagine I'm with either one, or both of them and have really intense orgasms!"
Makes sense to the tattoo artist so he dives in and gets to work. A few hours later the tattoo artist tells the woman that he's finis...

In a little-known piece of rock history..

Courtney Love once asked Jon Bon Jovi to name her new band. Bon Jovi jokingly suggested 'Hole'.

Love though this was great - provocative and rude - so she went with it. Her ex, Corey Hart, of 'Sunglasses At Night' fame, did not approve. He sought to confront Bon Jovi on the night of Hole's fi...

Have I ever told you guys about how I escaped from the Middle East?

Iran.

Oman the whole story is ridiculous.

I basically had to Qatar cross the border.

Just like Bon Jovi, I was basically Lebanon a prayer the whole time.

I know it doesn't sound like a true story, but I assure you Israel.

Honestly I could tell you more but it Ku...

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