UPJOKE

Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal…

… Until the pressure got to him.

As we were driving down the road, "Sweet Caroline" came on the radio. I said to my son, "Little known fact, Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal."

"Until the pressure got to him."

I always listen to Neil Diamond during the holidays.

He’s got sweet carol lines.

I bought a used Volvo from Neil Diamond on Autotrader....

Swede car online.

Hand Washing Lyrics

**Neil Diamond:** Hands...
**NHS:** Yep, wash them for 20 seconds
**Neil Diamond**: Touching hands..
**NHS:** No, don't do that
**Neil Diamond:** Reaching out..
**NHS:** Errrr, avoid that too
**Neil Diamond:** Touching me..
**NHS:** Oh no
### **Neil Diamond:**...

If you apply enough heat and pressure to Kid Rock...

he turns into Neil Diamond.

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