Interjected Jokes - 23 Hilarious Interjected Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On day six of the Creation, God announced to his archangel underlings, "Today we're creating a place called Canada.

"Today we're creating a place called Canada. Pull out all the stops. Give it beautiful mountains, lakes, plains, forests, and sandy beaches. Underground, give it oil, gold, etc. Oh, and plenty of fish and wildlife."

"Sir," interjected an archangel, "aren't you being overly generous to the...

A Mom and Her Daughter ...

A mom and her daughter were taking a cab across town. On the way, they drove by a couple of ladies of the night, standing on a corner, provocatively dressed and looking for business. The inquisitive little girl asked, “Mom, what are those ladies doing there?” The mom replied, “They’re waiting for a ...

Have you ever smelled mothballs?

My coworker asked me this today. “Of course!” I replied

She interjected “How did you get their tiny legs apart?”

Two young Russian conscripts in Ukraine approach a platoon of Ukranian fighters to surrender.

They approach with their hands in the air, and their weapons holstered.

"We come to surrender. Our truck is out of fuel and broken down. The rest of our troops are miles away, and none of the gas trucks or repair technicians will be available for days. We are stranded."

The Ukrainian f...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman gets on a city bus.

She looks at the driver and holds up one hand; the driver holds up two hands.

Next, the woman points up; the driver points down.

Then, the woman grabs her breast; the driver grabs his crotch.

Finally, the woman grabs her and gets off the bus.

A curious passenger aske...

Little Johnny brought his great grandfather to show n tell

The noted WWI Ace began to speak about his years flying in the war; "There were Fokkers all around us, left and right, above and below."
The teacher nervously interjected "Class, the Fokker was an airplane."
Johnny's Grandfather turned to her and said "HARRUMPH! That may be, madame, but these ...

A man brought his son to a grocery store...

A man brought his son to a grocery store, but as soon as they walked in the store the young child began to throw a temper tantrum. While they went down each aisle the child would yell, throw items in and out of the cart, and overall just be an annoyance.

Despite the scene his son was causing...

let me out

A bar owner locked up his place at 2 a. m. and went home to sleep. He had been in bed only a few minutes when the phone rang." What time do you open up in the morning ?" he heard an obviously inebriated man inquire.

The owner was so furious, he slammed down the receiver and went back to bed. ...

Lord of the Rings: What did Galadriel say to Celeborn when he asked what her ring was called?

"Nenya Business."

Gandalf choked out "Narya kidding me?"

To which Elrond interjected "Vilya please be quiet?"

Shamelessly taken from lotr sub (links not allowed, sorry.)

Two men walk into a bar and see a sign behind the bar...

the sign reads "FREE Drinks if you complete the 'Task'"

They call the barman over and enquire about the sign

"It's true" say the barman, "free drinks all night if you complete the Task"

Curious, Man 1 asks "so whats the Task?"

"If you look directly up, you'll see two Sirl...

Accident Elle

Elle grew up as an only child of an older couple, as all of her brothers and sisters had moved out by the time she was born.

One day, she asked why they had waited so long to have her.

Her mother told her they had decided not to have any more kids, so her father got a vasectomy, but th...

A brunette at the doctor's.

A youthful brunette visits his doctor and reports that his body hurt wherever he touched it.

"Impossible," the skeptic doctor mumbled, "show me."

The brunette took his finger, it on his left shoulder and screamed. He then jabbed at his knees, and let out another cry, then his an...

A fisherman took his boat far out to sea. He hooked a huge fish, and fought it for hours.

Unfortunately, as he wasn’t strapped into his seat, he was yanked overboard, and began to drown. Suddenly, he was rescued and brought back to his boat by a pair of dolphins. Without thinking, the fisherman thanked them.
They replied, “You’re welcome!” Aghast, the fisherman said, “You can talk! Th...

A man is severely depressed.

Joke:

His wife left him, took the kids and due to all the stress and pressure in his personal life, his work performance took a dive and he was fired. Without a job, he lost his home, his possessions and whatever was left of his dignity and hope. He decided to end his miserable life.

...

A man walked into the ER with severe burns and blisters to both sides of his face.

He was quickly admitted. The attending physician asked him, “how on earth did you burn your face so badly?”

The man reluctantly began his explanation. “It’s actually kind of embarrassing doc. See my wife is out of town this week, and so I’m having to do my own cooking...”

“Ah, I see...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Finnish WWII air force verteran was about to give a talk to an American high school.

He was stereotypically Nordic: pale skin, fair hair, and a heavy accent.

He introduced himself and began with a vivid description of his first dogfight in the Lapland War. "Literally the moment after we take off and got through the fog we saw them. Eight pesky Fokkers were spread out an...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a pub and sits on a stool at the bar.

The bartender asks him, "Would you like a drink?"

The man says, "Thank you, I'll have a scotch and soda."

The bartender serves the man his drink and says, "That'll be four-fifty."

The man looked surprised. "Four-fifty what?"

"Four dollars and fifty cents. That's the pr...

The animal kingdom had become overpopulated.

The lion, being the head of the animal kingdom, made a decree: a joke telling contest would be held at the end of the week. The tortoise, unanimously agreed upon as being the fairest of all the animals, was appointed as the official judge. The rules were simple: tell your joke to the tortoise, and i...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An American man and his son went on vacation to Finland.

When they arrived, a cab driver greeted them at the airport. "What should we do on our first day here," the father asked his son, excitedly. The driver interjected, "Well, if you're not natives, I'd suggest the roller coaster that teaches your or language." Confused, the father and son look at one a...

Dealing with Corporate Information Gathering

The other day, I was purchasing a television antenna in a major electronics store and was asked by the cashier for my name.

“Why,” I asked. ‘I don’t need a warranty.”

“I have to have it for our records,” explained the cashier.

Fed up with practice of companies gathering as mu...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Boy from Toronto

A boy stopped by a deli one early morning in Brooklyn hoping to get a job.

* "How are you with people, kid?" The owner inquired.

* *"Great," said the boy. "My previous job at a grocery store had me working cash registers and facing clients all day."*

* "Perfect," replied the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old farmer is drinking his morning coffee when he hears a knock at the door.

He opens the door and sees a stranger standing there with an empty jar in each hand.
“What can I do for ya, feller?” The farmer asked.

“Well, I was just passing by yesterday when I noticed you had some Honeysuckle vines growing on your fence row over there, and I was wondering if you might...

Bear Attack

An elderly man visits his doctor one day.

"I have some exciting news, Doctor!", exclaimed man, with excitement.

"What is it?", asked his doctor.

"My wife took a pregnancy test last week and, well.. we're expecting a child! Isn't it great!?"

"What!?", expressed the doct...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.