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Third Party Jokes

I told a man I was voting third party

He said, "That's wasting your vote! Come on, gun to your head, who would you pick, Clinton or Trump"

"Simple," I replied, "I'd pick the bullet."

My wife said we should vote for a third party

I told her I vote for Janessa, if she's into it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They say Nintendo doesn't make third party games...

*Pulls out Mario Party 3*

How are third party candidates like soccer?

They're only really popular in America once every four years.

How do you scare a spineless greedy billion dollar company?

Start a third party app.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Isn't this whole Ashley Madison hack exactly what their users wanted?

To get fucked by a third party?

I'm really worried what will happen if Donald Trump runs as a third party candidate.

I'm afraid there will be hell toupee.

Third party US presidential candidate Gary Johnson just delivered a crushing blow to the Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton campaigns

By keeping his mouth shut.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Watching a presidential debate with a friend.

Republican: I am going to smoke crack and burn down all the houses in your hometown.

Democrat: I will also burn down all the houses in that same town, but I will smoking meth, not crack.

Third party rep: I don’t do drugs and disavow arson.

Me to my friend: “I think I’m going to ...

Did you hear the joke William Barr told Congress?

It was really funny. He said >![This section of the joke has been removed to protect the reputation of third party individuals.]!< It was really one of the better jokes he had told.

2016 Presidential Election

Me: I don't like Trump.

Everyone: So you support a liar like Hillary? She should be in jail!

Me: I don't like Hillary.

Everyone: So you support a racist like Trump?! He doesn't stand for American values!

Me: I don't like either.

Everyone: So you're going to waste y...

Socks are like unhappy couples in therapy...

Always trying to break up, only to be reunited by a third party.

An OB/GYN student is late for his final exam.

He races out of bed, gets dressed, and is out the door in 5 minutes. He quickly gets to the lecture hall, and sits down just in time to receive a test.


Unbeknownst to him however, he had run to the wrong room: the Law lecture hall. The student reads over the first question, assured in hi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There are two things that never work

Month old condoms and voting for a third party.


(That being said, I'm fucking terrified)

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