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Hershey Jokes

What did the Hershey’s bar, the marshmallow, and the cookie use to communicate?

S'morse Code

Yo mama so fat

her pronouns are Hershey

I had five hundred Hershey Bars in my fridge and my friend had one in his. I pressured him into giving his to a homeless person.

That's basically how celebrity charity appeals work.

What do you get when you roll Chewbaca in Hershey's kisses?

A chocolate chip Wookie




Or both your arms ripped off

I told my girlfriend that if she wanted her Hersheys bar she had to bark like a dog

After she did it, I proceeded to eat it explaining that chocolate wasn't good for dogs.

My girlfriend loves to eat chocolate. She’s always eating chocolate, and she likes to joke she’s got a chocolate addiction. "Get me away from those Hersheys bars. I’m addicted to them." It’s really annoying.

So I put her in a car and I drove her downtown. And I pointed out a crack addict. And I said, "Do you see that, honey?... Why can’t you be that skinny?

Hershey bars have dominated chocolate for over a century

It's nearly 2019 now. Is anyone else not offended we still don't have a Himhe bar?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An elementary school teacher decided hand out candy and have the students guess what they are...

The teacher explains to the class the game they will be playing; guessing the candy she gives them. The class roars in excitement.


The teacher walks over to a student named Suzie, and hands her a peppermint. The student puts it in her mouth, and without skipping a beat says, "I know thi...

Don't Touch It, Timmy!

The teacher was very impressed with Timmy's answer to her question so she told him to come up to the front of the class, close his eyes and hold out his hands for a surprise. "But first," she said, "You have to guess what it is."

"A toy?"

"No."

"A new pencil?"

"No," s...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dave's shitty luck

There was a man named Dave, and he was going on a hunting trip with his buddies. Luckily he's at the campsite when all of a sudden he gets a bad case of the Hershey squirts. Dave runs to the nearest tree and let's it rip all over the tree. In fact he's there so long he falls asleep. His friends come...

which is the most feminine candy?

it's Hershey!

WHAT DOES A KISS TASTE LIKE?

One day a teacher had a taste test with her students. She picked a little boy to do the first test.
She blindfolded him, put a Hershey's chocolate kiss in 
his mouth and asked, 'Do you know what it is?'  'No,
I don't,' said the little boy.  
'Okay, I'll give you a clue. It's the thing yo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Little Johnny is sitting in class.

When the teacher says I've got a supprise for the students who got the best grades on the last test. She calls up three students and blind folds each of them, she says I've got a full bag of candy for each of you, if you can guess what kind of candy it is.Johnny sitting in the back just watching kno...

The day my dog died

When I was about four years old my brother had an old beater of a sports car, and one day he and my dad were draining the gas tank before they do more work. So they drain the gas into a bucket and then go inside for beer. My dog Hershey’s trots on up to the bucket and takes a nice long drink.. And...

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The Birth of Baby Ruth

It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, "Hey Sweetheart, how'd you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?"

Well, she immediate...

Why can’t trans men enjoy chocolate?

It uses Hershey pronouns.

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