UPJOKE
bucknellbellarmineloyolawesleyandepauwvassargaelsnazarenebabsonolivetwillamettemaristmcdanielsamfordbowdoin

Colgate Jokes

I'll Never Buy Colgate Toothpaste Ever Again...

It says "guaranteed whiteness" after 2 weeks... It has been 4 weeks and I am still Asian.

What is Colgate Sensitive supposed to do if Colgate kills 99.9% of germs?

It kills 99.9% of them without hurting their feelings.

I recently made the switch from Colgate to Crest.

I gotta say, it's a real nice change of paste.

9/10 doctors recommended Colgate

Except Dr Pepper

Hey baby, call me Colgate

Because 9 out of 10 dentists recommend me in your mouth.

So I tried Colgate for the first time.. was not impressed-

The tube said 'Guaranteed whiteness in 3 brushes". 3 brushes later, I'm still Asian.

(Speaking of still Asians, my grandma's a quadriplegic. She's a pretty still Asian)

What do you name a scandal in the Colgate company?

Colgate.

I am like Colgate toothpaste when I dance

Noticeably White

I am never recommending anyone Colgate Whitening toothpaste ever again...

I have been using it for two weeks and I’m still Indian.

Which female rapper is the spokesperson for Colgate toothpaste?

Clean Ma-teefa

10 out of 11 medical students failed in their medical exams.

In the end, 9 of them recommended the same thing..

Colgate

What do you call it when Richard Nixon hides the toothpaste?

Colgate

Did you hear about the big toothpaste scandal?

The media are calling it Colgate...

My friend got a job recently as the security guard at a toothpaste factory...

He’s a Colgate-keeper

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friends say I’m funny so I figured I’d write a joke.

So I went to a proctologist (read: butt doctor) because I’d been having some long term constipation and I figured I’d better get a prostate check to punch two holes in my club card, it was a real problem as funny as it sounds. Anyway I get there and I’m waiting in this cold room when a dude in a doc...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.