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Helpe Jokes

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I just read somewhere that capitalization is the difference between "I helped my uncle Jack off a horse" and "i helped my uncle jack off a horse".

Well that's embarrassing. Now everyone thinks my uncle's name is Jack.

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A doctor told a guy that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer during the act

The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it," He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it before he got home to his wife. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe. Finally, he realiz...

I helped my neighbour

I helped my neighbour with something this morning and she said, ‘’I could marry you!’’, I couldn’t believe it
You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return

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Cigarette after sex helped me...

...to quit smoking

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If your uncle Jack helped you off a horse….

In return, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?

I noticed that the local convent has no security around the building, so I helped myself...

No 'fence.

Nun taken.

I saw a kid getting beaten up by 4 gang members, so I helped out.

He didn't stand a chance against the 5 of us.

I helped my friend hide a dead body.

He said "Thanks."

I said "Don't mention it."

I helped two Vietnamese brothers settle a dispute

It really was a Nguyen-Nguyen situation

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