UPJOKE
methodologymaneuvermethodintubationairwayoyerblumetarbellterhunekroegercranleyregesrickenbackervignolakotter

Heimlich Jokes

"And now, introducing: Doctor Heimlich!"

*clears throat*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Henry Heimlich, inventor of the Heimlich maneuver, was getting frustrated.

Everywhere he went, people pretended they were choking to see what he would do. One day, he visited England. During a banquet with the royal family, the Queen grabbed her throat and bent over. Heimlich ignored her, and she confessed that she was faking. Later, he passed a prince on the street, and t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Heimlich Maneuver

Two hillbillies, Daryl and John, walk into a steakhouse and sit down at the bar. The two order beers. A woman next to them begins coughing hysterically and puts her hands over her neck to show she was choking.

Springing into action, Daryl rushed over to the lady in distress. Grabbing the bott...

Dr Heimlich died today

I'm all choked up

I just heard news that the inventor of the Heimlich Manuever, Henry J. Heimlich, just passed away at 96

I'm still choked up about it.

Gave my wife the Heimlich maneuver.

I’m running out of ideas for birthday gifts.

Quick! Does anyone know the Heimlich maneuver?

England just choked.

What is it called if you fail to successfully perform the Heimlich maneuver?

Two people choking.

The guy that invented the heimlich maneuver died today...

needless to say I'm a little choked up

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

what do bad sex and the heimlich maneuver have in common?

Both start out with lots of excitement, but then everyone is just relieved when its over

The inventor of the Heimlich maneuver has died at the age of 96.

Ironically enough, everyone at his funeral was choking back tears.

What is the opposite of the choke hold in wrestling?

The Heimlich maneuver

A friend of mine died last friday, while drinking his martini

It's on that day I learnt an important lesson:

Though laughter is the best medicine, in certain situations the Heimlich maneuver may be more appropriate.

Choking Hazard.

Jim: I once saw a man choke to death right in front of my very eyes.


Nancy: God that must have been awful, did you try to save him with the Heimlich manoeuvre?


Jim: I couldn't at the time, my hands were wrapped tightly around his throat.

A young woman starts choking on her seafood at a restaurant.

The man behind her says "Stand back! I'm a doctor!" and proceeds to use the Heimlich manoeuvre on her.

A whole small fish shoots out of her mouth and the woman finally gasps in a few breaths.

The doctor picks up the fish and says "What's a plaice like you doing in a girl like this?"

George Bush bought a rotisserie chicken

George Bush went to the store on day and bought a rotisserie chicken for dinner. He began his trek home when a sudden and serious hunger fell over him. His stomach grumbled, he had a headache, all his mind could think about was eating. Fortunately, he was able to bear with it until he got home. Once...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.