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Handstand Jokes

I didn't think handstands were traumatic.

But I just did one and my whole world was turned upside down.

An 80-year old man finds his wife doing a handstand naked against a wall.

Shocked, he asks, "what are you doing?

She replies, "I know you can't get it up, but maybe you can drop it in."

What do you call a Blonde doing a handstand? NSFW

A Brunette with bad breath.

I called the local council and asked if I could have a skip outside my house.

The lady replied, "mate you can do cartwheels and handstands for all I care"

- For those not in the UK, a skip is like a dumpster

A Six walks into a bar

The bartender says, “we don’t serve your kind here”

The Six leaves and comes back whilst doing a handstand.

The bartender looks confused, “aren’t you the guy who was just in here?”

“Nein”

old couple.

An old couple had been married for 45 years, and the old man couldn't get it up anymore, one night, the old man climbs up the stairs to go to bed and finds his wife doing a handstand next to the bed. He says, "what are you doing Mabel?" she replies, "if you can't get it up, maybe you can just drop i...

A mother asks her young daughter, "Where did you get that dollar?"

Her daughter replies, "A boy at school said he would give me a dollar if I did a handstand."

Horrified, the mother explains, "That's because you're wearing a skirt! He just wanted to see your underwear!"

"Well, I tricked him," her daughter replies cheekily. "I didn't wear underwear tod...

The World’s Greatest Gambler

A man begins to deposit a ridiculous amount of money into his bank. Out of nowhere. Someone takes notice, and after a long and complicated series of accusations and charges the man winds up going to court. He shows up with his defense attorney.

The judge asks him bluntly “Sir, how did you com...

A prince visited a famous Yogi

When the Prince walked up to the Yogi, He was meditating in a handstand pose. The prince felt that it was extremely rude that the man would not stand up and great him properly.

The prince said, “Sir, stand up greet me properly!”



“Namaste upside down” said the Yogi

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The accommodating wife

A woman complains to her friend that her husband is losing interest in sex, and he prefers nights out with the lads to the joys of copulation. Her friend tells her that to win his love she must make more effort. She advises her to cook a slap-up meal and then send him drinking with his pals down the...

A nun walks into a bar

She bought everyone drinks all night. She told hilarious jokes and even did a one armed handstand while chugging a beer.
She was the best . . . bar nun.

What did the 6 say to the 9?

How long can you hold that handstand for?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Joke from my dad

Do a handstand and stare up at the night sky at 10:00 pm. When you do, call your parents and tell them to look outside. When they do, they will be able to see Uranus from where they stand

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man died and went to Hell...

The devil said, " I will show you three rooms and the one you choose is the one you will spend an eternity."

The devil opened the first door and the man saw people doing handstands in knee deep of shit. He asked to see the next room. Inside the second room he saw people doing jumping jacks in...

A woman visited her doctor

Complaining about a personal problem: she had a habit of wetting the bed. The doctor said, “I’ll have to examine you to find the issue”

“Ok,” said the woman, “what do you need me to do?”

“I’m going to ask you to you shut the divider and undress,” the doctor replied.

The woman b...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A hapilly married couple

So there's a couple who's hapilly married for 5 years now but recently nothing's been going on in the bed and the girl is worried that her man is either cheating on her or is planning to divorce her until one day he comes home and says.
-Get undressed and go to the bedroom
The girl, confused b...

God is having a tough day

(Not sure if this is a repost)

It’s particularly busy in heaven, and God decides that he is only going to let the most upsetting and ridiculous deaths into heaven.

The day goes on and around midday three men arrive at St. Peter’s gates, and god stops them, he says...

“Sorry guys...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

60 Year Anniversary

A 78 year old women and an 80 year old man are celebrating their 60th anniversary. The wife says to her husband, "Lets do something special for our anniversary tonight, its been almost year since the last time."

The husband replies, "Honey, you know I can't get it up anymore. I have to head t...

Fifty years in the pen

Louis served his thirty in solitary and would have gone crazy had he not made friends with Joe the ant. They hit it off from the start, and to pass the time Louis taught Joe little tricks like rolling over and tumbling. Joe proved to be a talented acrobat and at the end of his training could do hand...

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