UPJOKE
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Hearted Jokes

Three things Christ promises he will never do: Won't leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3), won't reject you (John 6:37), and won't leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).

So in essence, Jesus is...>!never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.!<

A pee fetish isn't something you do half-hearted.

Either urine or you're out.

Light-hearted religious joke

Jesus said unto John, "come forth and you shall receive eternal life.".... he came fifth and and won a toaster instead.

I found the first four Harry Potter books to be quite light hearted and funny.

The fifth was dead Sirius.

Here I Sit, Broken Hearted. Tried to S*** but Only farted.

Until one day, I took a chance.
Tried to Fart, and S*** my Pants

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between god and a kind-hearted neo nazi?

God might actually exist.

What do you call a light hearted romance movie staring a Senator from Utah?

A Romcomney

Why is it that when someone donates a kidney they're called kind-hearted?

But when I donate seven it is apparently "illegal" and "immoral".

Today I gave up my seat on the bus to a blind person.

I was also fired from my job as a bus driver, no justice for the kind hearted in this world.

A religious man was thinking about how good his wife was to him, so he prayed to god to give thanks.

To the man’s astonishment, the booming voice of god spoke to him.

**Man:** God, I’m so grateful that you gave me my wife. If I may ask, my Lord, why did you make her so beautiful?

**God:** I made her so beautiful so that you could love her, my son.

**Man:** And why did you mak...

Who does a lobster have in common with a broken hearted chinaman?

They are both crustaceans.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer named Clyde had a car accident.

In court, the trucking company's lawyer was questioning Clyde. "Didn't you say, at the moment of the accident, 'I'm fine.'" asked the lawyer?

Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into the..."

"I did not ask you for any details...

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