Hagrid Jokes - 12 Hilarious Hagrid Jokes

Hagrid cremates Harry Potter and throws his ashes into a snowstorm

"You're a blizzard, Harry"

Hagrid: "You're a unit of power Harry!"

Harry: "I'm a watt?"

Hagrid spreading Dumbledore's ashes into the winds.

"You're a blizzard Albus."

Hagrid: you’re a light bulb Harry!

Harry Potter: I’m a watt!?

What did Hagrid say to Harry after he was bitten by Lupin?

Yer a hairy wizard

For years poor Lawrence applied for Hogwarts, and year after year they turned him down.

Finally after working his tail off to submit his latest and greatest application, he was climbing the walls with anxiety. He went to see Hagrid. "What do you think my chances are, Hagrid?"

Hagrid looked at him with pity in his eyes. "They aren't good." Said Hagrid. "Why not?" Lawrence asked,...

Hagrid is so fat

The Sorting Hat put him in the Waffle House

Hagrid breaks into the shack to tell Harry Potter, "Yer a wizard, 'Arry."

Harry Potter looks him up and down, noting Hagrid's enormous beard and flowing locks, and replies, "Well YOU'RE a hairy wizard."

What did Hagrid say to Tinkerbell when she started working at Dairy Queen?

You're a Blizzard fairy!

With Covid ravaging the wizarding world, Hagrid ushers a coughing Potter back to his dorm.

"You're a hazard, wheezy."

What did Hagrid say to Harry Potter after Harry had a mishap with some potions?

"You're a lizard Harry!"

Harry Potter, for a magical creatures lesson had the assignment of looking after a magical gecko.

He took great care of it , and was graded “A” for nurturing the pet so well. However shortly after receiving the grade for his assignment , the gecko escaped and went missing.

Harry was understandably upset about this, and a couple weeks of searching went by to no avail.

Then one day ...

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