UPJOKE
sandgutsgumptionmoxiesandpaperbackbonegritstonegritrockfortitudesandstonecouragefearlessnesstoughnesstenacityphysicality

Gritting Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Maid asked the master's wife for a pay raise!!

The wife was very upset about this, and decided to talk to her about the raise. She asked “Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?”
Maria: “Well, Señora, there are tree reasons why I wanna increaze.” “The first is that I iron better than you.”
Wife: “Who said you iron better than me?”...

I'm handling Monday the same way I handle constipation.

Gritting my teeth and wishing it pass already.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Paddy pulls alongside a lorry and shouts,

"Oi, driver! You're losing your load!"







Driver replies, "Fuck off!"







5 miles further along, Paddy again shouts, "Oi, you're losing your load!"







Driver again replies, "Fuck off!"






...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was “something wrong” with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room.

“He’s just lying there looking sick,” he told me. “I’m serious, Dad . Can you help?”

I put my best lizard-healer expression on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.

“Honey,” I ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.